Whoever’s In Charge

I started Mother’s Day with a massacre.

The plan was to open the window and get some beautiful weather in the house. The plan was not to see a ginormous brown spider on the floor at its base. It was also not the plan to spray it to death and watch the spider scuttle away, leaving behind its BILLIONS OF BABIES.


*internal vomiting*

I would have to commit so much murder, and so, so early. Holding my breath and praying to everything holy, I grabbed the Ant/Roach can and sprayed the billions of scattering brown pinwheels until a white foam enveloped them while SIMULTANEOUSLY killing their scarily-giant mother who took a ridiculously long time to die on the opposite side of the window. On Mother’s Day. All before coffee.

Just like I dreamed it would happen.

How was your Mother’s Day? Hopefully a little less eventful than mine. And hopefully, a lot less massacre-y. Whatever you did, I’m rooting for the opposite of what I did, until I shared some mimosas with family, because that was definitely more enjoyable than the first part.


BACK-TO-BACK weeks guys. What! Where did I go?? What was I doing?? Nowhere and nothing. Super lame, I know. I should’ve come up with an amazing story about impromptu cliff-diving or llama-farm-franchising, but feel honesty is the best policy, so, here we go: my lame butt has been going to my full-time job and then home to Batman and Appa every day. That’s it. That’s really it, and I’m just tired. Totally not an excuse (especially since we don’t have kids) but it is what it is. I’ve been a tired adult. But I’m here now, filling you in on all the lameness so you don’t have to worry if I’ve taken an impromptu cliff-diving trip and fallen off the cliff. I didn’t. I’m not dead. I’m here and alive and still contributing to society while I type away on a keyboard at night, weaving together name-less stories.

Regarding Untitled: it’s going well! I’ve managed to write a bit more each day, and feel myself rounding off toward the third quarter mark. Progress has definitely slowed since the new job, but it hasn’t stalled, and in the last few days, I feel it’s picked up a bit. So, I’m riding the wave of inspiration or dedication or whatever it is, and keeping the tunnel open as long as the words are flowing! So, keep em’ coming, Muse! Or Guardian Angel! Or Writing-God! Or whoever’s in charge up there. Or wherever you are. You know what I mean.

Everything else is good. Life is good. And, other than starting Mother’s Day on a killing spree, I’m in a happy, calming spot.

What about you? How was your holiday? Ever tried to open a window and slaughter a family instead first? Ah, happy times.

Well, off to write more of Untitled. It’s clearly not going to title itself, so why would I think it’d step up and write itself either? These demanding stories making me do all the work. Butler and Maid are yet to show their faces either. The nerve of some people.

Enjoy your week!

~ Lady Caitlin

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