Show Me the Exploding Heads

So.

Stuff’s getting a little crazy out there, huh? I will say I was shocked—SHOCKED—over the whole toilet-paper thing. And not just because of the *immense* amount of insanity concerning people’s usage of it, but because I’d been meaning to stock up for a while, about three weeks before the panic started. I like to have a lot in inventory (for just this reason) and I kept telling Batman we needed to pick up another pack or two, and he’d say we have enough, and I’d agree, but then mention it the following week and the same thing would happen. And wouldn’t you know it—toilet paper is like fucking currency now. Damnit Batman!

I don’t understand what’s happening in the world.

I feel like I’m watching a movie, but also participating in the outtakes, like when I go to the store and find this:

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We’ve all seen and shared similar photos and videos because OMG WHAT IS HAPPENING? We are we going crazy and

1) abandoning all common sense

2) being assholes to each other

I totally realize there is a virus out there and it is not a great one (are there any great ones?) but it’s…normal-ish, right? Nobody’s heads are blowing up. People aren’t sprouting balls on their shoulders, or mutating or boiling alive—right?? (Please tell me if the symptoms have updated) Like, if I see someone’s head explode after a sneeze, or if their elbows fall off in a gooey acidy-manner, then hell yes get the hell away from me and everyone stay indoors for the summer. Holy Shit. But no one’s heads are exploding. And, I even get the not wanting to spread it (I really, really do) but what I don’t get is the unnecessary panic. The hysteria over something that hasn’t wiped out a *major* portion of the worldwide population. AND AGAIN—NO HEADS EXPLODING.

I blame the media. I really do. It’s creating unnecessary panic which is making it very difficult for the majority of the country. Everyone is going to hurt from this. Everyone. And for a while. But seriously—why? Why are we going to this extreme to cause this much distress on our country and countrymen.

SHOW ME THE EXPLODING HEADS.

I don’t know. Maybe I’m just upset we’re down to three rolls of toilet paper and we could’ve been living like kings. Oh well. Guess I’ll know for the next time this anomaly comes along.

I hope you all are doing well & being safe. I’d remind you to wash your hands but

1) you shouldn’t need reminding

2) you’ve been reminded enough

We’ll see what the world looks like this time next week.

Remember to stay calm and STAY CALM

It Could Always Be Worse

(This post was originally written for last week, but still applies 😊)

My door handle broke off again.

*sigh*

This post was going to be about the lost tin—and we’ll probably swing around to it—but I have to mention the door handle first. Because, seriously? Again, Georgie? I work full time and am heading to visit family this weekend, so I won’t be able to get it fixed until the following weekend at the earliest, and that’s if I’m sufficiently inconvenienced enough to get up early on a Saturday morning to deal with it. We’re talking middle-ish of March or so before I have a working car door handle. Back to climbing in through my passenger-side door and praying to GOD it’s not raining when I leave work.

Batman feels bad. He’s the one who yanked it off this time. Funny thing is, he was being extra gentle because I told him of the *fiasco at the vet, and he was trying to demonstrate how careful I need to be with Georgie (like I don’t know), and then he snatched the thing right off. It’s fine. I’ll be fine. People are being QUARANTINED for possible coronavirus, so I’m cool with a little extra exercise added to my transportation routine. It could always be worse.

It’s something I should’ve been saying for the last two weeks. I don’t know what’s specifically wrong with me other than *potent* impatience, but I have this incredible talent to freak out over nothing. I’d almost be proud, except it turns me into this monster where logic and sanity don’t exist. It’s one of the things I hate most about myself because I feel stupid and foolish after these outburts, especially when I realize I caused the majority of my own stress.

Anyway, long story short: I need to renew my driver’s license. It’s not something I care too much about, except I have to have it renewed by our honeymoon or else I won’t be able to board the plane. So, kind of important. Doing absolutely zero research, I headed to the DMV and waited. After getting turned away for not having the necessary items, I headed straight into my home office to get the tin that held my birth certificate, except it wasn’t where I left it. It wasn’t *anywhere*. After a mini-freak-out, I told Barman and we turned the place upside looking for it. We checked cabinets, drawers, under beds, closet nooks. It is NOWHERE. At this point, I honestly believe the house ate it. That, or we have some asshole gnome who has upped his thieving game from socks. Either way, once I realized I had to order my birth certificate online, I FREAKED OUT. I guess people do this all the time, but I never thought I would because I never thought I would lose it, because how do you lose a tin that holds all your important shit? (along with our expired passports and a creepy bag of old baby teeth). You don’t. Or, at least, I don’t. And I did.

Now that my order is being processed in the next ten to fifteen days, I can go back to the DMV (yay!) and not be shunned for only having my social security card. (I will have all required documents, thank you very much angry lady who dismissed me with disdain. DISDAIN.) Now that things are in motion, I realize how much stress I caused myself because of a few road bumps. It happens and it sucks, but it’s obviously not the end of the world, although it definitely feels like it in the heat of the moment.

Anyway, lesson for the day: it can always be worse. It’s something I will continue to tell myself every day as I manually unlock the passenger door, crawl in to open the driver’s side, and then walk around. And I will SHOUT it on the days when it’s raining. 😊

*Appa doesn’t like the vet. He was boarded there like a billion years ago for only a week, and every time we’ve been, he freaks out. Barking like he’s being beaten, like he’s under major attack. This is when literally only the receptionist is in the room. He does not like the vet. Period. Well, Batman had something in the morning and I was left to take our child to the vet alone. It’s fine, except Appa freaks out (as mentioned above) so one of us usually weighs him quickly and then heads outside while the other stays inside to pay. It’s a pretty good system, and we’ve got it down. But when there’s only one of us…it makes this difficult.

So, after battling him into the vet, trying to communicate with the receptionist about what we needed, keeping him calm enough to sit on the scale and by my side when I paid, and back out of the vet, we headed out to Georgie and that’s when I pulled her door handle right off. During the end his panic attack. Perfect timing.

Welcome to Palm Coast, FL

What’s the best way to spend the weekend besides being a billionaire with a private jet and loads of cash? Give up? Well, you should because there are a lot of acceptable answers and one of them is how I spent this past weekend: family reunion 2019 baby. 😊

Look, when you live in Florida, people have an excuse to come visit you. And when you’re as cool as Batman and me, well, that’s just a bonus.

Welcome to Palm Coast, FL.

Rooming with twelve people can get terrible really quickly, so we collectively made the decision not to kill one another and enjoy the accommodations. (These are all courtesy of Batman).

Nice digs, eh?

Also, there was no itinerary! I LOVED that! We were able to hang with people over here or over there, in the beach or in the pool (ours or one of the TWO community pools) or at the beach. I simply LOVED that! Everything was so easy going and chill and Batman and I had a blast 😊 We’ll be seeing everyone again next year at our wedding (tee-hee!) so there’s just another reason to look forward to it.

What about you? How’d you spend your weekend? Do anything cool? What do you do for family reunions?

It’s a Toss Up For Me IWSG

First and foremost: Happy birthday, Courtney! 😊

You are an AWESOME older sister, and before anything else, today is YOUR day. Happy, happy, HAPPIEST of birthdays, I love you, and I’m sorry I pushed your face into the couch all those times we fought. You did kind of ask for it though.

Second and secondmost: Batman went under the knife last Friday. Sadly no, not to something cool like ninjas or pirates or psychotic rogue Canadians. He had a little outpatient surgery to remove a benign lump that was causing some breathing troubles. Not cool when you want to like, live and breathe normally. But he’s out and about and *technically* has lost more weight for the wedding than I have. I need to step my game up.

Third and thirdmost: Happy IWSG day 😊

I’ve done a lot of writing (and have some writing updates!) but I’m not ready to get into anything yet, so we’ll focus on the optional monthly question:

Whose perspective do you like to write from best, the hero (protagonist) or the villain (antagonist)? And why?

Huh.

Actually kind of tough.

I love my protagonists because they’re funny and cool and smart, so naturally I enjoy writing them…but there is something amazing about writing terribly awful characters. 😊 I guess it’s fun because you get to peek into another kind of mindset, and whereas you strive to do good in reality (I hope?) you can be as twisted and fucked up as you want through the character. So…there is a bit an allure to it.

I don’t know. This one is a toss up for me. I’ll say both.

What about you?

Any birthdays coming up? Or surgery? Who do/would you think you’d prefer to write: hero or villain?

Insecure Writer’s Support Group (IWSG) is a monthly blog hop for writers at all levels to share their fears and insecurities in a safe and encouraging place. Please drop by and say hi to Alex Cavanaugh who started this nifty concept in bringing us all together.

A Happy Gobble To You

I meant to write a post yesterday but fell asleep before I could make it to the computer. In my defense, the sheets were freshly washed (mostly—Appa does sleep in the bed so ‘freshly washed’ still means lightly sprinkled with dog hair and particles from outside. I know. Gross.) and I’d only planned on lying down for a few seconds. That multiplied to two hours somehow and then there was laundry and watching The Flash and a holiday cranberry sub and even more sleep.

And here we are.

I try to write my Wednesday posts on Sundays because starting the work week with a healthy dose of self-inflicted anxiety is always fun. By the time Monday comes *cough today cough* I’m freaked out if I haven’t at least started a few sentences. A thought. Something. Thankfully, during a particularly slow moment at work earlier, I lost interest and started to write this instead. My Thanksgiving post 😊

There’s not much to it except – I hope you have a great holiday! I will be spending mine with Batman and the family eating yummy things and consuming several, several glasses of wine (as is tradition in our house). I hope you do the same, but with your own family (it’d be weird if you came to my sister’s house. We’d still welcome you, but it’d be cool if you brought pie).

Enjoy!

P.S. – it’s December next week, guys. DECEMBER.  Anyone else feeling the anxiety chills of Christmas rapidly approaching?

This is Me Doing Things

You know how sometimes you read your stuff and you’re like, God, this is so stupid?

*Smacks head against keyboard*

*gets drink from kitchen*

*puts drink back because hangovers are evil*

*stares at the computer*

*questions life choices*

*eats Oreos*

*watches HGTV*

I’m at this part of the cycle when I can either go forward or stop. Stopping doesn’t seem to do anyone any good so I might as well keep going even though I’m pretty sure the whole thing is crap. I know it isn’t, but parts of it are and I’m focused on them.  Also: this is my first contemporary YA romance which means the structure is extremely different than the sci-fi/fantasy I’ve written. Those have tons of action while this piece moves at a slower pace and now I’m questioning it’s boring-level. There are no monsters, evil dictators, spies, or wild centuries-long secrets that come to fruition. It’s just (mostly) two people in a strange situation that find love.

Which is like, every YA story minus the love-triangle and the exciting dystopian/paranormal background. I’m not even sure why I wrote it. I didn’t intend to. I was actually starting to write this really awesome fantasy thing (and will probably still) but I kept switching documents to write this other thing and somehow I’ve got it fully fleshed. I don’t think I was even planning to show it to anybody. But it’s two years later and now I am and I’m at that shit-yourself-stage because it’s so unlike what I’ve written and I’m terrified that it’s stupid/boring/lame/just like everything else out there.

But I’m going to do it, guys. I’m going to look for some BETAs  soon and just do it. I could totally not, leave it on the computer and be done with the thing, but where’s the fun in that? As terrifying as this part is in the process, I’ll feel like a real tool if I did all the work up until this point to just stop now.  Carpe Diem, right? Life is made for us to do things.

So I’m doing things.

They’re Real and They’re Spectacular

This may be an inappropriate post, but I have to brag a little. I should’ve last October when I made the most AMAZING costumes for me and Batman (we went as Helga and Arnold from that classic 90s Nickelodeon, Hey Arnold!) but I wasn’t blogging much then—like now—and I didn’t post any of my costume picks. But I can keep my October New Year’s goal and show you what I’m working on now. Ready for this?

Cartoon testicles! Yes! I made Batman a pair of nuts! And I am *oh so proud* of myself because up until a couple days ago, I wasn’t sure how I was going to pull it off. There’s more to this costume than just the family jewels, but I had to get this part out of the way first. And to answer your question: yes, I did research different ways to make cartoon testicles on Pintrest. It wasn’t quite my search topic, but… I took a stroll down other peoples’ imagination on the subject and man, people get creative.

This has nothing to do with writing other than I keep taking a break from my WIP to look over and see the pair. I mean, come on. Is this not distracting:

So, I’m at a critical part in the second book (again, no one’s read the first) and I have a bridge to jump from where I am to the cloudy ending I see. I’m a Panster, so I have no outline, so I keep looking up and thinking. Then I look over to this part of the room. Then to that part. And then my eyes land on Batman’s prized possession and I smile. Even if I never become the fabulously amazing author it’s obvious that I will be, look at what I accomplished.

If only my A.P. teachers could see me now.