Seeing is Believing

I’ve stopped visualizing which is a big no-no when you’re a dreamer. The key is to visualize. Always, always visualize so you know what your goal looks like. So you recognize it when you get there. I’m not sure when I stopped visualizing all the things I wanted. Feels pretty recent, like the past couple of years, probably when social media blew up and my confidence took a backseat to fear. Or maybe I stopped visualizing when I had no (or very little) sales on my first book. And my second book. And my third. And my fourth.

It’s hard to keep the image of sitting on Ellen’s couch (yes, I imagined this. Shut up) discussing my widely popular novel and laughing over all the trials of getting there when literally no one is buying it. I had this whole idea how everything was going to happen and when it didn’t, something shifted. Me, I guess, and with my lack of readers it became harder and harder to picture myself there, on that couch.

Which is BAD.

I need to start up again. If I have any hope of actually making it, I  need to picture myself next to Ellen,  being my charming and witty and wonderful self (and not having panic attacks. Stupid anxiety). It’s the only thing that’s going to get me there, imagining the future I want.

And you need to keep it up too. Whatever your dreams are. Visualize it. See what it looks like so you know where you’re going. It’s VITAL and I haven’t been doing it as much so I’m going to start again.

What about you?

Do you visualize your dreams?

Engines Ahead?

I’m writing this (YA) contemporary romance and it’s proving harder than I thought. I think it’s because I can’t rely on major action-packed events to build the romance like I did with my series. I have to depend on smaller exchanges and a lot of conversation and I keep thinking a lot of conversation is bad thing. But how else do characters get to know one another? They talk.

Right?

In times like these, I deflect to the classics. My classics. Eleanor & Park and The Sea of Tranquility, obviously. Love stories that I love, love, love! Love stories that I pocket for rare occasions: the how-to’s of good romance. Not harlequin. Not BSMD. I’m not into punishment or alphas or how tattooed of a bad boy asshole he is. Yuck. It’s not real. I like real. I like genuine.

E&P is real. TSOT is real.

I believe their stories, probably because they’re written with authenticity. That’s what I’m trying to do with Autumn and Alex. I’m trying to be really real with it but I feel like I’m just jumping from scene to scene with them chit chatting around the central ark. I don’t know. I guess I’m not used to writing a straight romance without aliens and monsters and threats getting in the way. So why the switch? I have no idea. The heart wants what it wants and I guess this is it for now.

Anyone else try a new genre having a wee bit of trouble? Or extra doubt?

A New Year, IWSG

Well hey there, 2017 😉

*Sexy growl*

I’m excited for this year because I think I’m going to publish something new. Something outside my Arizal Wars series which yes, I will be finishing. At some point. Just not in the next twelve months. I have to put it on hold because my muse is still rioting for Better Than This, a project I’ve been working on since last May and in this fourth (fifth/sixth/seventh—I’ve stopped counting) round of editing, I’m finally seeing the shape of things and it doesn’t totally suck balls. Hallelujah!

I had no idea what I was writing before. One book. Two. Three novellas. I was all over the place, not even sure I planned on sharing it with anyone (still not—always on the fence until I get all Eye of the Tiger and press submit.) Anyway, last week I realized the book I was writing is actually three books and everything sort of fell into place which is awesome because now I can focus on the first one, the one I’m *hoping* to publish later this year. So, any YA Contemporary Romance readers/reviewers out there, try to remember this awesome blog that you stumbled upon and the possibility of a kickass book coming out this year that you know nothing about. Yeah. Get stoked.

Now on to the optional question of the month!

What writing rule do you wish you’d never heard?

That would be to outline.

I read something (somewhere at some point in my life) that before you write even a SINGLE WORD you have to have a detailed outline of the events in the story and how it’s all going to end. This is bullshit. Okay? Let’s say it again. Bullshit.

I think that maybe yeah, this will work for a certain group of people, but I struggled with having to outline stories I didn’t even end up writing. I forced it. I solidified events and when I tried writing them, I went off script and ended up frustrated. Mad at myself. Blaming myself for not keeping to the outline. Blaming myself for not writing correctly.

Well sorry, you stupid essay I once read–that’s not how I write. I’m a full blooded panster because I don’t believe my stories belong to me. They belong to the characters so it’s their shit to tell. I’m just the vessel that does it.

So anyway, yeah, I don’t do outlines. That’s not to say that if you do, you’re in the wrong. People write however it works for them. I just wish I wasn’t told there was only one correct way.

Insecure Writer’s Support Group (IWSG) is a monthly blog hop for writers at all levels to share their fears and insecurities in a safe and encouraging place. Please drop by and say hi to Alex Cavanaugh who started this nifty concept in bringing us all together.

First Day, First Paragraph Tag

first-day-first-paragraph-tag.jpgJoleene Naylor tagged me like, weeks ago, but sometimes I’m forgetful and I remember things at the last moment. Like that I was tagged to do the First Day, First Paragraph Tag for January. But WOOP for being #1 of 2017, bitches!

Anyway….

 

 

Those who have been tagged have to:

  1. Publish your own post on the first day of the next month.(If I tag you now ((Loni)), you will post February first. )
  2. Use the graphic above
  3. Thank and link back to the person who tagged you. (Thanks, Joleene!)
  4. Explain the rules, like I’m doing now.
  5. Post the first paragraph of a story you’ve written, are writing, or plan to write someday.
  6. Ask your readers for feedback.
  7. Finally, tag someone to do the post next month and comment on one of their posts to let them know the good news.

I’ve decided to tag Loni Townsend because she’s brilliant and funny and creative and I dug her book, This World Bites. You should check it out too.

This is from my current WIP, Better Than This. I finished it like, yesterday (last minute, remember?) so I’m still not sure if this is how it’s going to go… but, well. Take a look:

I hate Leo Warskowski.

Correction: I hate Leo Warskowski with a passion.

Last week he took a Sprite from Amber’s lunchbox and poured the whole thing into her back-pack. The whole bus watched and no one stopped him. No one said a word. The week before he made up a song about Carrie’s weight and sang it at the top of his lungs, over and over again until we got to school. We had to listen to chants of ’fatty, fatty, can’t you see/cookies and donuts are not fat free’ for over twenty minutes. Carrie cried the entire day.

Thoughts?

This is like the seventh or eighth revision. I’ve lost count. And after another comb through the WIP, it’ll probably change again.

 

Anyway, thanks again for tagging me, Joleene, and for forcing me out of my introverted cave of shyness. I owe you one. 🙂

 

Gallery Vomit

In an effort to purge my phone of the thousands of pictures I take but never delete, I’ve decided to post some of (what I think are) the best photos on there. I feel kind of weird sending them to that sad little trashcan especially when I think they’re kind of cool or something I’d use for inspiration later on. But I wanted them to be seen at least once by someone who isn’t me and there are plenty of you out that who aren’t.

Enjoy 🙂

20160407_135404 20160408_102159 20160409_111015 20160514_105143 20160703_205839 20160707_211848 20160730_153823   20160904_095720 20160904_095839 20160904_09261320160923_114824 20160923_191546 20160924_094226 20160925_083905 20161008_09390420160903_10442220160829_222356

Not Giving Up Yet, IWSG

This is super last minute but I didn’t want to get kicked out of the IWSG club. I should’ve written this post on Sunday but I was at a losing football match and then in a game store for way too long waiting on Batman to add to his NES collection so by the time I got home and played with Appa, I only wanted to sit down and wait for WestWorld to come on. Which is what I did. (PLEASE watch Westworld. Let’s talk about it. I need more people to talk about it with.)

And here we are. Tuesday night.

As far as writing goes…I’m fine. I guess. I almost didn’t write this post because I don’t want to jinx the not having depressive thoughts over writing/being a writer/living a writer lifestyle. It’s pretty much a daily battle, but if I at least get a little writing done (even if marketing / reading / networking / EVERYTHING ELSE goes out the window) I consider it a win. And I have been writing each day—same thing that’s been in my head since the beginning of this year.

Sometimes I look at my WIP and think “psshh—you’re NEVER showing this to a living soul.”

Other times I’m like “THIS BOOK WILL RULE THE BESTSELLERS LIST.”

So, I’m not really sure how I feel about it. But each day there’s progress and I’ll take that over falling into the pit of depression and self-loathing and wishing I was something straightforward like a teacher or nurse or whatever real adults do for a living.

The IWSG question this month:

In terms of your writing career, where do you see yourself five years from now, and what’s your plan to get there?

Oh, geez, I don’t know. I’d planned on being a bestselling author by now, but maybe 36 is more my year. I have absolutely NO IDEA where I’m going to be in five years, but I hope I’m still writing.

No. I KNOW I’ll still be writing.

Will I be making any money from it? I sure hope so. I also hope I won’t kill myself between now and then working away at a string of dead-end jobs waiting for my Colleen Hoover moment.

Insecure Writer’s Support Group (IWSG) is a monthly blog hop for writers at all levels to share their fears and insecurities in a safe and encouraging place. Please drop by and say hi to Alex Cavanaugh who started this nifty concept in bringing us all together.

P.S. I’m only kidding about killing myself. It’d just be a serious maiming.

P.P.S. I’m kidding about the maiming. NOT kidding about the depression or occasional suicidal thought. But we all get those. I’m pretty sure Bill Burr covered it in one of his skits. God I love Bill Burr.

It’s Pretty Obvious, IWSG

So, I missed last month’s IWSG. 😦

Second time I’ve done this, in like, the past few months, which I am not proud of. But there was a hurricane to survive, a Halloween party to throw, and everything that comes along with being human and living life here on this lovely planet of ours. So there are all my excuses. Now on with the show 🙂

November’s question: What is your favorite aspect of being a writer?

For me, it’s the actual writing part. And yes, I did give this some thought. I toyed around with getting great feedback/reviews from people because that shit is awesome. Like instant molly for your soul. But as high a high as that is, I dig the writing more. I’m not sure it needs to be explained here, in a writing blog hop, but you know what I mean. Opening the door to Narnia and all that. Losing yourself to your own words and own imagination. That’s the good stuff. The friends you make, the audience you gain, the seeing your name on someone’s TBR list—they’re all amazing perks to the wonderful bit of magic we’ve already been given.

Now what about you? What’s your favorite part of being a writer?

Insecure Writer’s Support Group (IWSG) is a monthly blog hop for writers at all levels to share their fears and insecurities in a safe and encouraging place. Please drop by and say hi to Alex Cavanaugh who started this nifty concept in bringing us all together.