First Come the Cardholders

I know I said I wouldn’t talk (much) about writing here, but I have to show you:

LOOK.

Look at these AMAZING card holders I found at work. 😊 😊 😊

I was grabbing a bottle of water from the break-room and there they were, just sitting there all alone on the counter, abandoned. I checked to make sure they didn’t belong to anybody (even let them sit for a couple hours) but when they were still there at the end of the day, I figured it was safe to call it – and I don’t feel bad AT ALL. These two beauties have inspired me to:

  • Get going on my branding, because I want some sweet-ass cards to fill them
  • Visualize my table when I finally attend a book expo as an author (gotta put my cards somewhere, right?)
  • Realize I might need two different card-holders for a reason (details coming soon!)

So there. That’s it. This post was mostly about me getting a bottle of water from the break-room and then stealing stuff I found nearby. It just happened to be cool, amazing, super-inspiring, career-developing stuff. That I found next to a refrigerator. This is my life.

There are other, more exciting things that are happening, but I’m not at liberty to discuss. Actually, I can—I just don’t want to. Not now. Right now is the time for celebrating people who leave unwanted goods for lower totem-pole employees to grab and keep. And to use for inspiration to one day book a table at an author/writer/book convention/expo.

You know what they say: first come the cardholders. Then come the fans.

P.S. Shut up. They say this. And if they don’t, they will 😉

P.P.S. If you read AW and want the scoop on how the first draft of RTD is going, check out my Patreon page where I post snippets of my progress. That’s right, baby. Sneak Peeks of first draft crap. How are you not already there reading it?

Handsome Rob and Life Things

As you may or may not know, Appa (our German Shorthaired Pointer) is a trained hunting dog (Meh. Kinda. He mostly retrieves balls and cookies). But what is he trained to hunt? Quail, mostly. I’d prefer it if he could go after something cool like the jabberwocky or Bigfoot, but no. Batman takes him quail hunting and that’s it. With that said, look who showed up next door:

Gobble, Gobble, Motherfucker. (<– shout out to Jenny Lawson of thebloggess, author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened & Furiously Happy. I love you.)

Mind you, he didn’t just show up.  He was purchased for Thanksgiving (neighbor’s admittance) but his kids had a Charlotte’s Web moment, and Handsome Rob was sparred and kept as a pet because he’s some turkey 😊 (<–see what I did there.)

Yes, his name is Handsome Rob, and yes, I named him. Sorta. He’s been around a while, but I’ve been forgetting to mention him because my life does not revolve around neighborhood turkeys (sadly). But: I’m trying to talk more about my everyday life here because I want people to turn to my Patreon and Newsletter (YES. Attempt two coming this spring/summer!) for all things writery, and I want this blog to be a place for people/fans/stalkers to come see what I do when I’m not in the writing cave. Because I do leave it from time to time 😊

On the current 2019 (non-writing) agenda we have:

A trip to Savannah!

A trip to Disney!

A trip to Colorado Springs!

An exciting garage sale!

Why Savannah? Weekend trip with mom and sis. 😊 Why Disney? Batman’s birthday.  😊  Why Colorado Springs? Batman’s pick on the city  😊 (I picked San Fran two years ago) Why the garage sale? We have a ton of shit. I’m living the life, guys. I’m living the life.

Oh, and in a couple of weeks, we’re seeing Sinbad. SINBAD, guys.

Okay, Batman and I are kids of the 90’s, so we grow up watching First Kid, which means this is a BIG DEAL. It’s going to be awesome and fun and I will probably drink one too many overpriced cocktails and be in my happy place. I love my happy place.

How are you? Any Thanksgiving survivors pop over in your neighbor’s yard? What’s next on your life agenda?

Batman Won Christmas/Happy New Year!

I know, I know. It’s Thursday ☹

So, why the heck am I throwing you off by not posting on our usual Wednesday date? Those darn holidays snuck up on me and there was travel and work and all the other things that made me confused. But despite the confusion, it was a good holiday—how about yours?

Did you get everything you wanted? Did you get anything you wanted? Did you get hammered off the eggnog and not remember a thing? 😊

Batman told me a few weeks ago that he was winning Christmas. Naturally, I cried folly and said there would be no way he could beat me. I’ve won the past many years because I’m an awesome gift-giver and frankly, I love my title and WILL defend it. There was no way Batman was going to beat me.

No. Way.

Y’all seeing this? Are you seeing my LETTER TO HOWARTS.

And:

There was also the small matter of my NEW Kindle Fire which he set up because I’m stupid with technology and he’s a gamer (so he knows tech stuff. Right? I don’t know. Also, I was lazy).

This, of course, was among other awesome gifts I received most of which I cannot mention because of reasons. Also, I don’t feel like typing them all out…but I am currently squeezing my golden snitch stress ball…

I have to hand it to Batman. He did pretty well this year. If I didn’t love the fact that he addressed the envelope to “the office in the back of the house” so much, he might not have won. Yeah, he got some good things too, and it was really close—if not a tie. But I’m going to give him this year. I mean, hey, it’s a win-win for me 😊 He set his own bar super high, and next year, he’ll need to defend his title. I can handle that.

Now, if I was playing with my mom? I would have ALSO LOST:

I got it. Everyone stepped up their game this year. Didn’t realize we were all playing in the major leagues at this point, but okay. Let’s do this  😊

Well, I guess this will be my last post in 2018. If I’m to keep on our current Wednesday/day after Wednesday date, we’ll be chatting in the new year. Please be safe and not stupid and if your family and friends want to be stupid, remind them we need to start 2019 with the good kind of bang 🙂

From Batman & I: Have a happy (and SAFE) New years! Talk to you in 2019!

P.S. How about your holiday? Did you win Christmas? Any plans for the New Year?

I Hope You Enjoy It

This post is going to be short because:

  1. I live a boring life and don’t have much to say
  2. I’m first chapter into writing RTD and DO NOT WANT TO STOP

There should probably be a number three, but I think number two sums it up. I’ve got the energy going and I’m pantsing this baby like a mofo. What’d I say last week? Good vibes 😊 Alright 😊 For your pleasure/entertainment/whatever, here’s a current picture of me and Batman at his work holiday party:

Happy holidays to you—whatever you choose to do! Whether it’s lighting eight candles (which I believe has passed…sorry…happy belated Hanukkah!), opening presents with friends and family, or laying on the couch doing nothing, I hope you enjoy it.

Alright, back to writing RTD. (Woop!)

See ya on the flip side of Christmas. Fingers crossed you get everything you didn’t realize you wanted.

*Every.Single.Day

On my commute home, there’s this short light that keeps our street backed up for two to three light cycles. It’s where I usually check my email and texts because I’m going to be sitting for a while. I know this. We all know this. We all know that in order to cross over this one busy highway, we have to do our penance and sit and wait for the light to change, and when it does, it feels three seconds long.  WE ALL KNOW THIS. IT DOES NOT CHANGE.

But this motherfucker:

Gets in the left-only turning lane, bypassing everyone, and then jets back over into our lane. I could understand if this was an “oops! Got in the wrong lane!” Or “Didn’t realize this was turn-only!” Whatever. I’m super forgiving for things like that because I do things like that. Because I’m terrible with directions and can totally get how you end up going the wrong way down a one-way street (twice) because it’s dark and you might need glasses. I get it.

But this motherfucker does this nearly *EVERY SINGLE DAY. We’re apparently on the same route home, and every day she whips past me, right to the front of the line. Then she slows down, puts on her blinker, and waits for the light to change. And I’m looking around like, am I the only person who’s seeing this? Can we all agree that this SAME CAR is doing this SAME JACKASS THING every day? Why haven’t we rioted against her? We need to unite and riot against her! Then the light turns green and someone lets her in.

*Every. Single. Day.

In other news, I started writing Return to Dellapalania. (YAY!!!) I haven’t touched Arizal Wars for a long time because I’ve been preoccupied with BTT. Mind you, I’ve been writing AW since 2011, so when a sexy side-series sashayed my way, it was hard to decline the temptation. 😊 Anyways, I’m three pages in and excited! To be honest, BTT was just the break I needed because now I feel refreshed and revamped and ready to go. I’d like to say this one will be ready next year, but I don’t want to say that. Not yet. I will when I’m more than three pages in and have an idea. Still. Good vibes, guys. Good gives 😊

Except for that bitch who cuts in line in traffic. She can eat a donkey dick.

*I’d be lying if I said it was every day. It happens more like 2-3 times a week, which is plenty often to be considered a jackass if you ask me.

IWSG #I’m Surrounded

There’s not a lot of blog-worthy stuff I can share here  since most of it is in-the-moment-awesomeness and…things better suited off the interwebs 😊 So with that all said, let’s jump on into the optional question:

What are FIVE objects we’d find in your writing space?

Oh, geez. Um. Let me look around…

I should probably lie and clean a lot first, but I’m going to be honest. Brutally honest. Willing to put-pictures-up-honest, all for my lovely loyal audience (both of you 🙂 ). So….here we go:

  • Water bottles. There are a lot of them. I mean a lot. Don’t believe me?

Yeah, I’m that girl from Signs. So, what? I’ll be ready when the aliens invade. I don’t know why I keep half-drunken water bottles around, but I do. And now you know. (Please still like me).

  • Writery/Inspirationy things.

When the going gets tough, I like to read not-terrible things. It helps silence that sucky feeling most artists know all too well. Plus, most of them have pretty script and cool designs 😊

  • Plain ass weird shit.

I don’t know…I liked the frog…and the hands….I don’t know. It seemed like a double high-five, and who could say no to that?

  • Apparently…stuffed animals?

So, I’m ten. Get over it.

  • Toys!

Again, I’m a woman-child. And so is Batman. I mean, I call him Batman. Need I say more?

There. Now you have it. Now you know all the weird things surrounding my desk when I’m writing those stories you (hopefully love to) read. What’d you expect? A clean desk with a cup of pretty pens and journls? Psshh. You don’t know me at all.

What about you? What’s your desk look like?

Insecure Writer’s Support Group (IWSG) is a monthly blog hop for writers at all levels to share their fears and insecurities in a safe and encouraging place. Please drop by and say hi to Alex Cavanaugh who started this nifty concept in bringing us all together.