I’m Nervous About The Whole Thing, IWSG

I’m kinda insecure this month.

And yeah, I’m also releasing my last book (as in a series. Not my last book ever. Let’s not get ridiculous), so that’s probably got something to do with it. But I’m not even scared of the release. I’ve announced it to practically no one and have maybe two or three people who are actually expecting/awaiting it, so it’s not like I expect any tidal wave of anything really. It’s just going to be another Friday and even more exciting—it’s the release of Crimes of Grindelwald 😊

So, I’m not nervous about chucking this story into the great internet void. I’m nervous about the whole thing. Insecure about the whole thing. I’ve been a Debbie Downer about myself lately, about my talent and progress. I told my sister (I ACTUALLY SAID THIS ALOUD) that I wasn’t certain I’d ever get anywhere with writing. It sounded horrible as I said it—especially because you can’t ever lose hope—but this very giant, logical part of my brain has been scoffing lately, saying, ‘Really, Caitlin? Still holding onto it? Still haven’t seen the signs?’ She’s a bitch, but after she makes her argument over and over, it’s hard not to take a serious listen.

I don’t know. I feel like my faith is dwindling, even though I’m doing better now than I ever have (which is saying something). Maybe it has to do with the season or full moon or because Mercury is in retrograde or whatever. Maybe it’s just a down season because everyone gets down from time to time—and doesn’t it normally circulate more around the holidays? Maybe that’s what this is. Pre-holidays blues. I hope so. I don’t want it to be the other thing. I don’t want the Grow-Up-All-Your-Dreams-Are-Dead-Sorrows. Those are a bitch.

Anyway, those are my insecurities this month! What about you?

Insecure Writer’s Support Group (IWSG) is a monthly blog hop for writers at all levels to share their fears and insecurities in a safe and encouraging place. Please drop by and say hi to Alex Cavanaugh who started this nifty concept in bringing us all together.

Short and Sweet

I’m going to keep this short and sweet (like me!) because I’m already behind as you might’ve read last week so every moment—EVERY PRECIOUS FREE MOMENT—is now dedicated to finishing BYY. But shouldn’t it be finished by now? Yes, it should. Shut up. It will definitely be ready for release on 11/16 (same day as The Crimes of Grindelwald!) but only if I use EVERY PRECIOUS FREE MOMENT to write and perfect and edit and re-perfect. Which means again, I’m keeping this short and sweet.

But why jump on if I have nothing to say? Two things:

  • We always have a date. Me and you. Wednesdays at that hot internet spot.
  • I saw A Star is Born

So……………I did like it, but it wasn’t the movie I thought it was going to be. Again, haven’t seen the first two, so I’m not sure if the plot is like, spot on, but it just…just kind of took me by surprise. With sadness. And I hate feeling sad because it pops up far too often in life and I wasn’t expecting it on my fun girl’s night out. Anyway, Bradley Cooper was hot. So, there’s that. 😊

Alright, off to write! Have a lovely hump day!

Until our next rendezvous – 😉

Oh, the Insecurities IWSG

Actually, I am a little insecure this month. ☹

September—while awesome—flew by and stole with it all my time to write. I’m not making excuses for myself because I did write, just not as much as I’d like. Not as much as I needed to stay on my timeline, which means I’m thrown off, people. Which means I won’t be able to do a pre-order now ☹. My own fault. All the lessons are being learned, but it does still make me feel insecure. Will I finish in time? Will I make my promised release date? Will it all come together in the end? Will I finally take up drinking fulltime?

The comforting thing is that I’m feeling good about what I’m writing. I’ll finish a scene (knowing I’ll revisit it 1-2 more times) and think, ‘can’t wait for them to read it!’ That’s one of the best things as an author. Knowing you get to share something you’re excited about with everyone, hoping they’ll enjoy it as much as you do. It’s super scary, but worth it! So, yes, I’m insecure that I fucked up with how I decided to publish this whole thing, but beyond thrilled to be able to share it .

Also: have you seen the trailer for A Star is Born? I haven’t seen the other two, but this third version looks amazing. So amazing in fact that I’ve watched the trailer twice daily for the past few days. I’m like one of those fourteen year old girls who watched Titanic ten times in the movie theaters (I WASN’T—I only saw it once) but my love for this trailer seems on par with their intense feelings of Leo’s stirring performance. I don’t know what it is—the song, the movie clips, the actors? I don’t care. It looks amazing and I can’t wait to see Bradley Cooper & Lady Gaga this weekend 😊

Now that I think about it, maybe I’m so into this trailer because I’ve been writing about a musician in love. It’s kind of giving me that extra oomph to finish Better Than You because I see a finish line every time I watch it.

Anyway, I’m going to go watch it again because we talked about this. Then, more writing. Happy IWSG day! Try to rise above your insecurities and to make all your dreams come true. And try not to fuck up your timeline like I did. 😊

Insecure Writer’s Support Group (IWSG) is a monthly blog hop for writers at all levels to share their fears and insecurities in a safe and encouraging place. Please drop by and say hi to Alex Cavanaugh who started this nifty concept in bringing us all together.

Is It Worth It?

You know, sometimes I think: is it worth it?

After a full day in a cubicle, feeding Appa, feeding Batman and me, and completing my nightly chore, I sit down and work. Sometimes, it’s only for an hour—sometimes, much longer. I work on my current WIP, posting to Patreon, posting here, and any other miscellaneous project I fell into (spur of the moment short story, ect.) Usually, I’m exhausted by the end of the day, and on the hard ones when I can’t solve a scene/nail a piece of dialogue/have complete writers block, I think: is it worth it? Is all this work and time and energy I’m putting in really worth it?

Yes.

Yes.

Hell motherfucking YES.

I forget until a reader/fan reaches out to 1) ask when the next book will be out, 2) tell me they love what they’re reading and 3) ask me what’s going to happen next. These moments remind me that I’m not just wasting my time typing away some imaginary story because I wanted to read it. There are yous out there that want to read it too. 🙂

So, to all you FANS—if something moves you/excites you/affects you in some positive way, let the writer, musician, actor, singer, comedian, (fill in blank) know. Send a message. An email. Something social-media wise. Artists are a tender bunch; we need that extra push, that extra reason to remember why we do it.

(it’s for you 😊 as much as us)

P.S.  Tomorrow’s my birthday and I’m heading to Sea World and Universal Studios! Woop! Going to go hang with some penguins and Hufflepuffs 🙂 I’ll be sure to snag a bunch of pics so you can experience the amazingness vicariously. You’re welcome 😉

I’m Happy With It

It took me almost a whole week to get through a scene. ☹

Not normally a big deal, but I went ahead and tortured myself with a looming deadline (and it is looming), so that’s only mildly terrifying. I’m pretty good about getting through my WIPs quickly, but I got *so* stuck on this scene. The kicker? It was the bow-chick-a-wow-wow scene which are usually kind of easy. In fact, they’re pretty fricking fun! But this one wasn’t coming to me, and I think it’s because I was putting too much pressure on the moment. On getting it perfect and making sure I checked every box to make it the perfect reunion. In other words: I cockblocked myself ☹

Glad to say I got past it. I’m only *slightly* behind but I’m sure I’ll catch back up because I doubt I’d write this post without FULL CONFIDENCE I’ll have BTY done in time to make the November 16th release date. There are a few other scenes that I know I’ll have to rework heavily, but other than that, I’m happy with it. Of course, I say that today, having just gotten passed a huge hurdle, but I hope to keep the good vibes/news flowing.

Non-writing wise, life isn’t too bad. Batman and I are going to Sea World and Universal Studios for my birthday in two weeks. It was supposed to be a trip to Colorado Springs…but someone got herself unemployed for three months and has very little money. So… FL vacation hot-spots it is!

Also, we had a garage sale Saturday and made fifty bucks which is AWESOME because people took crap I didn’t want and gave me money that I’m putting towards a new wand in Diagon Alley. Happy birthday to me 😊

Pretty morning for a garage sale!

Chilling and taking pictures.

The couch that no one bought…along with things no one wanted

so bored I’m taking a selfie

How did you spend your weekend? Something fun I hope 🙂 Ever been to SeaWorld? Or Universal Studios? How about FL? TELL ME YOU’VE AT LEAST BEEN TO FLORIDA.

Time’s A Changing (and Flying) IWSG

I’m going to make this short (as time is limited), but don’t EVER only give yourselves three months between book releases, even if the thing is pretty much written (which it still may not be). I’m cutting it close, guys. Real close. Like, I’m too embarrassed to tell you exactly what’s going on, but let’s just say that you should NEVER give yourselves three months between book releases unless you’re Hermione Granger, and even that’s pushing it.

I haven’t been participating as much in writer groups and doing writer things because phones are pretty much banned at work and the precious little time I do have (not including time with Batman and Appa) I’d rather be writing. Editing. Making sure there’s a product. So, I’m off to go do that because I’m dumb and planned poorly and am just now realizing I’m publishing another book next month.

::mild heart-attack::

Anyway, onto the optional IWSG question!

What are your ultimate writing goals, and how have they changed over time (if at all)?

My writing goals have…loosely stayed the same. I used to want to be this huge, best-selling author that everyone knew, with movies made on each of my books (pretty much Steven King). Of course, that’d still be nice, but somewhere along the way, I realized I want a fanbase. I want to write for people who want to read the kind of stories I like to tell. Mega money would be great (fame—I could live without) but to support myself on selling my books to a loyal and loving fanbase…that seems pretty on point.

Insecure Writer’s Support Group (IWSG) is a monthly blog hop for writers at all levels to share their fears and insecurities in a safe and encouraging place. Please drop by and say hi to Alex Cavanaugh who started this nifty concept in bringing us all together.

P.S. All my books are free on Smashwords! If you like that sort of thing. ‘Til the end of July 😉

I’m Alive and Doing Things

I messed up, guys. I didn’t post on Wednesday. I’m sure many of you cried; several, probably, took to the streets in mourning. I’m so sorry. But I’m here now and everything’s going to be alright. 🙂

The reason I didn’t adhere to my “post every Wednesday (so you can still be relevant and gain an audience) rule” is because I was busy finalizing BTN, which I still need to do since I promised a beta she could read it next week. INWARD SCREAM. With that said (and with much more to finalize) I shouldn’t be here writing this post. I should be working on BTN, so that’s what I’m going to do.

Just wanted to pop in and say I’m alive and doing things and everything is good at work where I have to sit in the murder chair**. But they haven’t fired me and I get free donuts on Thursdays, so it’s not too bad. Oh! If you’re curious or a stalker, I’ll be on Debra’s Book Cafe for an interview. Because I do that. Professional-like interview things because I’m an author. Eat it, Janelle, from third grade who told me I could never be an author.

*drops mic*

*runs back on stage*

Oh, and there’s this thing on Facebook called The Indie Readers Party Room (Public group/place/still unsure how everything works/ but authors get to take over and “host” for the day where they can talk about themselves, their books and interact with their fans by doing games and having questions and giveaways. It’s actually pretty fun) and in a courageous moment of why the hell not? I threw my name in and requested August 16th (day before Better Than Now releases) So. On August 16th, I will be hanging in The Indie Readers Party Room, so, if you’ve been wanting to hang with me–and who wouldn’t? *tosses hair*–come hang with me.

**I sit at the murder desk at work. It’s the first seat you see when you walk in (door is at my back) so if some crazy madman shows up, I’m being tagged first. Murder desk is real.

Have a great Friday 🙂