Everything Became Terrible

I actually almost fainted on Sunday. It sucked for two reasons.

1: I’ve always wanted to faint. It’s been on my bucket list, and while I know a bunch of you are like wtf would you want to do that? I don’t know—I’ve just been curious. What’s it like? Does everything just turn off? Like, when I’m dead, I want to look back and say yep, totally fainted that one time when I was alive. But I can’t say it. Not yet.

2: I ACTUALLY ALMOST FAINTED. The fact that I live in Florida makes this as surprising to me as it does to you. And, it’s not like I’m skipping around all the states; I’ve been here the entire time, and I’ve never overheated like this. Yes, we’ve been having record-high heat, but this was a rookie mistake to the billionth degree. (I should know better).

I was sitting in the shade at a restaurant near midday-ish while out with the family. The shade turned into partial shade, then into very limited shade, and then I was sitting in the sun. It was fine. I’d had my entire pina colada to cool me down, half my water, and a small portion of my food. Sure, I was fine. But when I stood up, everything became terrible.

Someone must’ve dipped me in lava because I was too hot to breathe. Never thought I’d have that feeling. I’ve definitely vomited from dizziness, but not heat, and I felt like I was going to puke if I didn’t get a cold gust of wind on me—so I flew indoors. Except, it wasn’t much cooler inside the restaurant as it was on the patio. Then the dizziness-heat spell really took over, and I bent forward, hands on my knees.

Breathed in. Breathed out.

Ripped the stupid mask from my face and threw it on the floor (had to put it back on when I went inside)

Breathed in. Breathed out.

Everything grew hazy and I thought—this is it. This is the moment I’m going to faint. This one. Right here. I knew, because I could feel my legs giving out, so I tried sitting before I would collapse, because that would hurt (I think?) and just be terrible. Thankfully, Batman was there and helped set me on the floor, and because I was able to keep that tiny bit of brain energy from being used, it stayed on. Someone slid me a cup of cold water. Someone else called for a cold rag. All I saw were shoes and shin bones and on some level I knew I was mortified because I was sitting on the ground at the entrance of a Bahama Breeze like a stupid tourist, trying not to pass the fuck out.

Had I stayed in the sun any longer, I probably would have. Had I not gotten inside when I did, it might have happened. Again, I repeat: I’ve lived in Florida my entire life and I’ve never felt like this. Which means it’s hot out there people, so make smart decisions. And also, like, stay hydrated because as delicious as pina coladas are, they don’t act the same as water (sadly).

Yeah, so this event was a bummer on two levels, but at least I got to see my family before the near-pass out. I’ll take a win when I can get one. And double points—I didn’t have to pay (thanks dad & S!) So, still finding silver linings sprinkled amongst the bullshit. Ah, life. The fun we have together…

I’m Happy With It

It took me almost a whole week to get through a scene. ☹

Not normally a big deal, but I went ahead and tortured myself with a looming deadline (and it is looming), so that’s only mildly terrifying. I’m pretty good about getting through my WIPs quickly, but I got *so* stuck on this scene. The kicker? It was the bow-chick-a-wow-wow scene which are usually kind of easy. In fact, they’re pretty fricking fun! But this one wasn’t coming to me, and I think it’s because I was putting too much pressure on the moment. On getting it perfect and making sure I checked every box to make it the perfect reunion. In other words: I cockblocked myself ☹

Glad to say I got past it. I’m only *slightly* behind but I’m sure I’ll catch back up because I doubt I’d write this post without FULL CONFIDENCE I’ll have BTY done in time to make the November 16th release date. There are a few other scenes that I know I’ll have to rework heavily, but other than that, I’m happy with it. Of course, I say that today, having just gotten passed a huge hurdle, but I hope to keep the good vibes/news flowing.

Non-writing wise, life isn’t too bad. Batman and I are going to Sea World and Universal Studios for my birthday in two weeks. It was supposed to be a trip to Colorado Springs…but someone got herself unemployed for three months and has very little money. So… FL vacation hot-spots it is!

Also, we had a garage sale Saturday and made fifty bucks which is AWESOME because people took crap I didn’t want and gave me money that I’m putting towards a new wand in Diagon Alley. Happy birthday to me 😊

Pretty morning for a garage sale!

Chilling and taking pictures.

The couch that no one bought…along with things no one wanted

so bored I’m taking a selfie

How did you spend your weekend? Something fun I hope 🙂 Ever been to SeaWorld? Or Universal Studios? How about FL? TELL ME YOU’VE AT LEAST BEEN TO FLORIDA.

Today is the Day

Today is the day.

I’m sweating bullets but you can’t see that. Good. There is a positive side to this whole communicating without physical presentation thing—a.k.a blogging. You might be wondering why I’m sweating bullets and it’s a good thing you ask. No, I didn’t just come from outside where this damn Florida heat can knock someone out with a just a walk to the mailbox. (Believe me, it has, and no amount of Mitchum can cover that up.) And no, the bullets are definitely not due to exercising. You can’t hear me, but I’m laughing at such a silly possibility. I mean, yes, I do exercise, but I find I’m much better at sitting in the recliner writing. We all have our talents.

The reason that today is the day and I’m sweating bullets, is because I am *finally* self-publishing my debut novel, Escape from Harrizel. Yikes! But a good yikes! I’m so excited that the last few years of work have come to fruition in this story that I hope you’ll love! But what if I want to go back and change something? Or I find a typo? Eeek! I have the ability to re-upload, yes, but I want it to be absolutely perfect and no, there’s no such thing. I realize this. I really should have a glass of wine. Or two. Or seven…

It’s a big thing—big to me, at least. I’ve wanted to be a writer since… wait, let me think about this… *scratches chin*… oh yeah. Forever. I’ve wanted this since forever. So, it’s been a pretty long time coming to see a dream finally realized. We have a local book event (not as awesome as it use to be) where actors would dress up as deceased authors, walk around, and have conversations as that person. I think I had the pleasure of meeting Mary Shelly one time. Even as a girl (I’m still female—just want to clear that up), I wanted someone to dress up as me in the future, sporting my 2000’s fashions. Ambitious, I know. But as Batman says, you’ve got to dream big. So I have. And I hope you like what I’ve come up with:

ESCAPE_FROM_HARRIZEL_-_2500

This is now available for you reading pleasure. Only $4.99

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/366242

(Also available on Amazon, Kindle….)

My friend, Red, said I need more pictures in my blog. I agree with him, but I hope it wasn’t a hidden insult about the content not being awesome enough on its own. I mean *flips hair* how could the content not be amazing enough to hold your attention? But I guess it is true. As much as I loved reading Harry Potter, I did enjoy seeing the little sketches at the beginning of every chapter. That might not be the same thing, but it’s relatable. So, for your viewing pleasure, he’s a picture of a really pretty plant I saw on a walk I took around my office building today:

Pretty bush

And another one:

Up close pretty bush

Nice, huh? I thought so. I took a few more shots but these are the best. I also thought about taking a picture of the two flies that got caught in my coffee mug this afternoon, but that’s somewhat morbid, right? I mean, here they are—two buddies, I’m assuming—in their last hour of life. Would it be ethically right to snap a shot? Their tiny wings and skinny little legs kept flapping, trying to free themselves, but we all three knew it was futile. At least they were able to float in a delectable concoction of Folgers roast and French Vanilla creamer. It’s actually not a bad way to go. Until, of course, they took the slide down the sink drain when it came time to clean the mug.

I wonder what their final conversation consisted of. Maybe they discussed their crash landings, or how the world changed since their entrance 24 hours earlier, or maybe, they regretted not finishing everything on their little fly bucket list. And before they knew it, they were being tsunamied, never to get another chance at life.

If I ever find myself in a giant mug of hour-old coffee and the inevitable swim down the drain is upon me, at least I’ll know I did my best. I tried. There will be a check next to the “publish a book” box on my own bucket list.

And that’s good enough for me.

…God, I really hope one of them wasn’t Jeff Goldblum.