Batman and I attended a friend’s wedding this past weekend.
Now, I’ve been known to attend and participate in many a wedding but this was the first one, I can say without a doubt, that has been so unique in not only derailing from tradition, but complimenting the couple who planned every detail of the entire extravaganza.
I’ve stood in pink and purple and rust colored bridesmaid dresses, held bouquets, attempted catching bouquets, used fancy silver wear and tried not having a heart attack when giving speeches. I’ve purchased dressy shoes and posed for photographers and taken planes and buses and subways and cabs, had my nails done and my hair arranged, told to stand here but end up there and watch my sister and my best friends and good coworkers dance their first song as husband and wife.
I’ve 27 Dresses this shit.
But I’d never held a hard cider while wearing a fedora and listening to the black and blue corset-wearing bride and kilt-donning groom exchange vows on promising to kill one another should the zombie apocalypse or an evil dead situation occur. The officiant, also in a kilt, took a few swigs from his flask in the middle of the ceremony which lasted a total of seven minutes, per the couple’s wish. The bride was barefoot and the groom was in love, watching his best friend escorted from her grandparent’s porch to the center of the backyard where the thirty or so guests stood in a semi-circle.
I’ve never been to a wedding that wasn’t done by the books.
Now, I’m not saying the other weddings I went to weren’t great. They were beautiful, delicious, romantic, heartfelt and everything my friends and family wanted and deserved. But this wedding was the first that didn’t follow tradition. There was no white dress. There were black pants and a Victorian corset. No “I’ll take you forever,” but “I take you as my player number two.” No flower centerpieces but classic games like Hungry, Hungry Hippos and Scrabble and Jenga. This wedding wasn’t something you’d see in the Knot or Brides or whatever other magazine advertises the traditional and typical. That’s because this couple isn’t them. They’re the other couple.
I remember first learning about their relationship a few years ago when I quizzed the bride on her secretive boyfriend. She told me and I couldn’t believe it. It was a coworker we’d joked with but never someone I’d take as a serious suitor for her. Not because he wasn’t good enough. He was just… a friend. The quirky IT guy we liked to mess with; someone fun around the office—that’s all.
I was flabbergasted, especially since they’d been dating secretly for a while. How could I not know this *amazing* gossip. I was like Varys (Game of Thrones, anyone?) I had little birdies everywhere, reporting back to me on all sorts of scandals and juicy tidbits but this pair alluded me somehow, keeping their relationship secret and I just couldn’t believe it at first. COULDN’T BELIEVE IT. They were so different, so unique and so…so… somehow…perfect for one another. I never saw it. Never could’ve matched the two oddballs in the company as being the right compliment of one another. And they were. Dancing to the beat of their own drums, J & F don’t give a shit about what’s trending or hot, what’s traditional or practical. They do things their own way—the other way—and it made their wedding so much fun.
My camera died twenty minutes before the ceremony started because I was using Pandora earlier in the day and forgot to charge it, so I only have a few pictures:
Here’s the house where the cab driver dropped us off. It was a great idea to be chauffeured to and from the hotel, but it usually helps when we’re taken to the right destination. I think at least. Good thing we were only a house down but we did knock and seem like total creepers standing outside the garage and peeking into the backyard. Thank God no one came at us with a shot gun. Close call though.
When we finally made it, we had our picture taken by a Polaroid and if you look real close, you can see me and Batman hanging sort of in the center there. I’m kicking my leg up. Can you find me? Ten points if you can because our real names are on there!
We were at the Jenga table because the HHH was taken and I planned on drinking too much to be any good at Scrabble. Also, Jenga is sort of our game. At least since Batman knocked over the full size set at the engagement party and ran off blaming it on me. Bastard.
More awesome table decorations:
This is the actual ceremony (borrowed from my friends Instagram). Besides being eaten alive by bugs, it was very romantic and sweet. And I had my Reds Apple Ale so I was set.
And finally, the bridal party. Yes, we were all nervous with those kilts flying high into the air. No one was blinded though. It would be a shame on such a wonderful and blessed occasion.
J & F—
Thank you for an amazing day and we wish you both a lifetime of happiness and continued quirkiness. And of course, thank you for being the other couple.
You guys rock :)