The Simulator

Simulator Cover

SPECIMEN LOG

Subject: 7852, Johnson, Matthew

Species: Human

Origin: Earth

93.1116215.09

Entry: 203

This is Matty Johnson, species human, origin earth—specifically, Lincoln, Nebraska, the good old U.S of A.—and this is my 203rd entry in the Gristinish Research System.

Uh, apparently this is a big day for me as I’m allowed to use the simulator for the first time. Yippie. You guys keep obsessing about this thing… I don’t know…it’s supposed to make it like a “trip home,” right? Our reward for good behavior? Yeah, well stealing images from my head and virtually uploading them isn’t the same as going back. You know that. Want to reward me? Send me the fuck home. Let me out of here so I can get back to my life.

Or don’t.

It’s not like you guys listen to these things anyway.

Alright, so what do you want to hear? I slept well. Ate well. Had a decent bowel movement, if that’s what you’re interested in. Uh… I’m tired. Real tired. Pini’s got me doing all these different exercises. I don’t think he gets it. I’m as fit as any 33 year old human male can be. And I’ve told him this. Repeatedly. I’m not a robot.  I’m not some fucking vampire or a Gregorian like inmate in cell 662, so I’m not sure what he expects. I can’t run any faster than I can run. Maybe if he’d picked another specimen, he’d have different results. You hear that, Pini? Going as fast as I can, man.

I don’t know what else. Martikis still has a stick up his ass. But that hasn’t changed in 265 days, so I’m not holding my breath. Most of my headaches have gone away… I still get one time to time, but overall… I feel better. I guess the big news today is the simulator. You guys have it scheduled for me later. Uh…honestly, not sure if I’m going to do it. Seems more like a punishment than a reward. If you’re going to show me my mom and dad, I want to see my real mom and dad. Anything else is…

…cruel.

I don’t know. Guess I’ll talk to Pini about it. Got a few hours until it’s my turn. Sure I can convince him by then. Or who knows? Maybe you guys will send me home.

Fingers crossed on both.

 

RESEARCH LOG

JJU PINI

93.1116215.09

Entry 78345

This is JJU PINI, entry 78345 in the Gristinish Research System.

 I have been working closely with Subject 7852, Matthew Johnson or ‘Matty,’ species human male, origin Earth. The Subject has been on board 265 units and has acclimated well. He has exceeded every physical expectation which leads me to question our belief in their core make up and design. So far, no human species has undergone diagnosis post mortem, but I am excited to state Subject 7852 will be the first, and only when he dies of natural causes.

 Subject 7852, or “Matty,” is scheduled to have his first trip to the Simulator today. Whenever I have broached this topic, Matty has continued to show lack of excitement or interest. At first I believed he did not understand the purpose or experience that the Simulator provides, but he has assured me that he ‘gets it’ and I have come to believe this to be human slang, agreeable to understanding.

 Every Subject that has experienced the Simulator emerges with a renewed sense of their origin and a healthy dose of submissiveness in order to return to it. I anticipate Matty will retain his good behavior after his first Simulation and will continue to do so in order to experience the positive effects he feels today, especially if he is to see ‘Jessie’ again.

 Through our detailed conversations, I have learned that this is a human female he feels strongly about and quite possible, has deep emotional feelings for. During his Simulator preview generator, I have specifically requested multiple images of this human in order to enhance the experience for him, and so that he understands the benefit of what we provide regarding good, submissive behavior. I am hoping my next log will express the positive outcome of this experience.

 

SPECIMEN LOG

Subject: 7852, Johnson, Matthew.

Species: Human

Origin: Earth

93.1116215.09

Entry: 204

This is Matty Johnson, species human, origin earth… you know the whole thing.

 You guys just can’t get over this Simulator thing, huh? Just talked to Pini. Like talking to a wall. He keeps telling me I’ve earned it. I deserve it. It’s my time—blah, blah, blah. Yeah I get it. I haven’t caused a disruption in this prison yet. Excuse me, ‘organic research facility.’ But that doesn’t mean I want your bullshit reward. And hey, guys, newsflash—it’s not a reward. It’s punishment.

 I’ve seen the others come out. What were they in there for, like five minutes? And every time they’re dying to get back in. Do anything you’ll ask for another “trip home.”

 I don’t want to go in. I’m saying it right now. I don’t want it. Think I need a reward? Maybe some privacy while I’m taking a shit for once. Or how about you throw me an extra five minutes of sleep every night? That’d be nice. I’d appreciate it for not causing general mayhem, which would be pretty fucking easy given the lenient restraints you guys use around here.

 Look, I’ve been on this space craft for 265 units—whatever that means—and have gone along with everything you’ve asked of me. But not this. I’m not doing the Simulator. I’m not going to get drugged on its bullshit effects.

 Want to reward me for good behavior? Listen to this log.

 Seriously, I’d like to shit without you watching.

 

RESEARCH LOG

JJU PINI

93.1116215.09

Entry 78346

This is JJU PINI, entry 78346 in the Gristinish Research System.

I have just come from Subject 7852, Matthew Johnson or ‘Matty,’ species human male, origin Earth. I am disappointed to report that he is adamant in his decision not to participate in the Simulator scheduled later today. This is something I have not come across in all my working as a researcher here in the Gristinish Research System. Every subject I have encountered has expressed much interest in the Simulator. In fact, I am asked on a daily basis by nearly every specimen if they have earned another trip. All except Subject 7852, “Matty,” who has not only shows disinterest, but outright refuses.

I am not sure the proper way to handle this.

My superiors would need to be contacted if he is not successfully admitted, but I do not think it will come to that. I am certain I can convince him of its euphoric experience by the time he is scheduled to begin. I have also requested more images of the human female ‘Jessie’ for his enjoyment and relaxation. I am positive his hesitation is merely a human reaction and instinctual defense and when the time comes, he will submit to the Simulator’s positive environment.

 

SPECIMEN LOG

Subject: 7852, Johnson, Matthew.

Species: Human

Origin: Earth

93.1116215.09

Entry: 205

This is Matty Johnson, species human, origin earth…

You know, I don’t think I’ve recorded this many logs in one day. Yeah, you guys want me to record everything, all of our reactions to your tests and overall health and all that. But this is getting ridiculous.

If Pini comes at me one more time about that damn Simulator, I’m going to lose my shit. Especially if he keeps talking about Jessie. I don’t want to talk about her. I don’t want to even think about her. Not if there’s no chance of going home. And you assholes have made that abundantly clear. So what’s next? Where do we go from here? Because I’m not getting in that thing.

No way in hell.

And if Pini makes me, he’ll understand a new side of me.

The side that kicks his ass.

 

RESEARCH LOG

JJU PINI

93.1116215.09

Entry 78347

This is JJU PINI, entry 78347 in the Gristinish Research System.

Subject 7852, “Matty” has grown increasingly hostile. With every attempt to discuss the Simulator, his aggression rises, almost turning him into a different specimen altogether. As Matty is the first human we have collected, this new behavior is highly unusual. The little we have learned through him about human life on the planet Earth suggests a pleasant, submissive nature, but now I must reconsider previous assumptions.

It is possible there is much aggression in the human nature, a possibility of stubbornness and unyieldingness. These traits have occurred in other specimens, but quickly erode with mention of the Simulator.

I simply do not understand Subject 7852’s refusal.

I fear Matty will not willingly submit, and I will be forced to use the proper restraints. I have never done so, and have a great distaste for it, but I do not believe there is any other way for the subject to experience the positive effects the Simulator provides, which is crucial at this point. I will give him one last chance in hopes of a peaceful start to what will be an enjoyable experience.

 

SPECIMEN LOG

Subject: 7852, Johnson, Matthew.

Species: Human

Origin: Earth

93.1116215.09

Entry: 206

This is bullshit.

I’ve said no a thousand times. I’ve said it since the beginning, when I first learned what your virtual trip home meant. I don’t want to do it. It’s a lie. It’s a Goddamn lie and I ain’t doing it. So fuck off, Pini.

You hear that?

FUCK. OFF.

 

RESEARCH LOG

JJU PINI

93.1116215.09

Entry 78348

This is JJU PINI, entry 78348 in the Gristinish Research System.

I am displeased to report that proper restrains have been used on Subject 7852, “Matty,” for assurance of his participation in the Simulator.

He continues to yell the same phrase—“kick your ass”—which I believe to be of a hostile and highly violent nature. Currently, the subject is strapped down and will be wheeled into the Simulator when his turn arrives shortly. I have every hope that once he emerges, it will be with a renewed sense of self, and he will return to his positive, submissive state that demands reward, such as the Simulator.

We have an hour to go.

 

SPECIMEN LOG

Subject: 7852, Johnson, Matthew.

Species: Human

Origin: Earth

93.1116215.09

Entry: 207

ASSHOLES.

Get me the FUCK out of here.

I’ve been on this shitty space craft for 265 units and I’ve done everything you’ve asked of me. I’ve let you poke around, examine me, test me. I’ve complied in every way so do me a favor now and GET THESE FUCKING STRAPS OFF.

You all call yourselves ‘humane’ aliens… just researching to better understand the galaxy and all the specimens in it, right? Bullshit. This isn’t a research facility. It’s a prison. It’s a goddamn prison where you like to torture the inmates.

And you know what, Pini, you’re the worst of them. You want to be my friend, want to talk about life back home and what I did and what I miss?  Fuck you. Find another way to torture me because we’re not going there again. I don’t want to talk to you about back home. I want to be back home, and if it wasn’t for you, I would be.

And no, the GODDAMN SIMULATOR ISN’T IT.

Just go ahead and kill me. I prefer it to going in there. Because at least I know it’s real. At least I know I never have to be here, talking about back there, about what you stole from me.

Just kill me and I’ll be free.

 

RESEARCH LOG

JJU PINI

93.1116215.09

Entry 78349

This is JJU PINI, entry 78349 in the Gristinish Research System.

Subject 7852, Mathew Johnson, “Matty” has begun his descent into the Simulator. It appeared extra restraints were necessary to control the Subject as he fought to free himself. A higher dosage of serum was also applied to give the Subject a more sedated experience. I am hopeful he will be calmer and in a more pleasant state upon emerging.

I am to contact my superiors once the simulation is complete, as they are curious about this particular case. It is a curiosity whether the Simulator experience is unwanted by all humans, or specific to this one alone. Additional specimens may be required for further research.

I will concur with my superiors upon Subject’s release.

 

SPECIMEN LOG

Subject: 7852, Johnson, Matthew.

Species: Human

Origin: Earth

93.1116215.09

Entry: 208

Can you do internal logs in the Simulator?

(Can you do internal logs in the Simulator?)

(Can you do internal logs in the Simulator?)

(Can you do internal logs in the Simulator?)

Hello?

(Hello?)

(Hello?)

(Hello?)

That was weird.

So… can you? Internal logs?

Shit—why not, Matty? You always ask the dumbest questions. No I don’t. Yes you do, but that’s okay, we’re here now. Go ahead, give them your account of all this; they want to know. You’re in the Simulator, right? I am? You tell me. Is it Unit 265 on board Gristinish Research System? I don’t know. This place is weird. Not like it was before.

And mom still hasn’t put on her bathrobe.

Bacon again? Jesus Christ I’m over it. Every day this week. Bacon, bacon, bacon. Ouch! I wasn’t talking back. You always think I’m talking back. I’m arguing my case, mom. That’s it. If you listened to me you might not be so quick to— yeah, I saw the yellow wallpaper. It looks good. I don’t know… a few hours? Sorry, I was hanging out with my friends.

Why hasn’t she taken her hair curlers out yet? She knows Drew and Steph are coming over any minute. Dad warned me about this. I need to give him back his ties. Shit, I keep forgetting. And did I fill up the tank on my way home?

He’s going to ground me. And mom keeps hovering over my phone. What? I don’t know. She’s just at girl. We work together, mom. That’s it. You always make a big deal out of everything. Don’t worry about it, okay? It’s only grabbing coffee. It’ll take twenty minutes top.

It won’t take any time at all. We just got to pick one and I’ll load it on the car. Jessie, where are your gloves? I told you to bring them; you’re going to freeze out here—so what do you think? I like this one. Lots of branches and yeah—we’ll turn that side to the wall. It’ll fit perfectly in the apartment.

We’ve out grown it. Yeah, three years ago last Christmas. I’m going to ask her tonight. What if she says no? Is she going to say no? You never know. I’m going to do it anyway. She’s got to say yes. She’s got to! I’ll tell her I have a question.

“And what’s that, Matty?”

And then I’ll freeze because I always freeze because she makes me so damn nervous. But what if she says no? Then my life’s over. Done. As long as she says yes, that’s all that matters. I can do anything; I can survive anything as long as she says yes, as long as we’re together.

Are we together?

“We’re always together, Matty.”

I miss you.

I miss you so, so much. So much it hurts. Every day, Jessie. I miss you every single day. I miss going to sleep next to you and waking up to your beautiful face. I miss your smell and your laugh and your voice and… and everything. I miss everything. Tell me we can stay together. Tell me I don’t ever have to leave you.

 Jessie?

  

RESEARCH LOG

JJU PINI

93.1116215.09

Entry 78350

This is JJU PINI, entry 78350 in the Gristinish Research System.

Subject 7852, “Matty” has emerged from the Simulator. His overall condition is relaxed as he is still heavily sedated from the extra dosage of serum. I am hopeful he will be in a more pleasant state when he fully resurfaces.

I am eager to speak with him as soon as possible to get the freshest and most accurate response to the experience. It will help to determine if additional specimen are needed for this specific study. If he refuses to comment on the experience, or communicate with me in general, I will be forced to check his logs and report to the superiors from there.

I am curious to know what Matty thinks.

 

SPECIMEN LOG

Subject: 7852, Johnson, Matthew.

Species: Human

Origin: Earth

93.1116215.09

Entry: 209

 

I want to go back.

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