Birthday Buttons Work

Somehow, I not only forgot that it was Wednesday (last week) but I also COMPLETELY FORGOT it was the first Wednesday of the month which means I missed the IWSG post. ☹

It’s okay. As long as I don’t miss two in a row, I won’t get kicked out of the club. I’ve earned my spot in the top 100 by never missing more than two consecutive posts. So, at least I’m not out of the game yet. But still. What was I thinking? How did I miss posting my weekly blog? I’ve only been (successfully keeping up/) doing this Wednesday posting-thing since Octoberish 2017. I don’t know. I guess time got away last week.

Also: it was Batman’s birthday. 😊 That might have something to do with it.

He’s 33, which is the age Jesus was when he died, and I’ve been reminding Batman of it constantly. It’s not my fault. HE’s always rubbing in the fact that I’m six months older, which means I’m a cradle-robber, apparently? Whatever. I still claim dying first so I win. Anyway, he turned 33 and since we live in Florida, we traveled back down to Orlando because we’re adults and we can.

Destination: MGM & Magic Kingdom

Ever hear of a birthday button? It’s an actual button you where that makes cast members wish you happy birthday while “sprinkling all kinds of magic fairy dust your way.” Sounds cool, right? WELL IT IS. 😊 😊 Batman’s birthday button scored ultimate fairy dust. Like, ultimate-ultimate. So much that we are pretty much only going back when it’s one of our birthdays. (Seriously. These things are awesome).

Since Batman was turning the big 3-3, he picked MGM and the Magic Kingdom as the two parks we’d visit. The first day we did MGM and wanted to ride 1) the Rocking Roller Coast and 2) the new Slinky Dog Coaster in the new Toy Story land. Both lines were consistently at over an hour wait. The estimated standby entrance showed 75 minutes. 90 minutes. 110 minutes. Every single time we checked, (and we looped the park probably five times), it was ALWAYS A WAIT and there was no way we were standing in the heat for over an hour to ride a three-minute ride. No way. And Batman and I, being smart adults, agreed it wasn’t worth it. We’d checked both rides around 4-5 times throughout the day, but it just wasn’t meant to happen.

Enter: Guest Relations

As we were leaving, we stopped by Guest Relations because apparently, I don’t know how to buy us Disney tickets. The lady who admitted us into the park said we grossly overpaid and should see GR about getting it taken care of. We did, and everything turned out fine, but because Batman was sporting that truly magical birthday button, the lady helping us asked if there was any ride we didn’t get to do. We mentioned the Rocking Roller coaster along with the Slinky Dog Coaster, and she typed something into her system. When she gave us back our park tickets, she said we had fast passes to go on BOTH rides to be used at ANY TIME WE WANT for the rest of the day.

Uh, can I say pretty fucking magical?

We booked it to one end of the park, rode the Rocking Roller Coaster in less than five minutes, then we hightailed it to Toy Story land and rode the Slinky Dog Coaster. Ten minutes. All day long we checked and were disappointed, and we did both in the last half an hour.

Birthday buttons work. I’m just saying. 😉

Anyway, I’m going to blame missing last week’s post on Batman. It makes me feel better and he’s not here to defend himself. But seriously: if you’re considering visiting Disney for your birthday (I assume they work in CA too) do yourself a favor and get a birthday button. You’ll thank me later.

And because I remembered to take a few photos throughout the days, here are the best ones:

Into MGM. I already passed the entry sign and there’s no turning back.

Toy Story Land, everyone.

Here we have a great view of almost being trampled.

To infinity, and beyond!

The People Mover. Arguably the best ride in the Magic Kingdom.

At the entrance to the Beauty and the Beast Castle restaurant.

(Restaurant entrance)

LOOK!!!! It EXISTS!

Eating ice cream on a sidewalk. Best way to wind down Disney.

Nope Nope NOPE

I left a one-star review on a hotel. ☹

Typically, I refrain from reviewing or rating my experiences because 1) I just don’t care and 2) I forget about it minute a later, so it’s rare that I leave a comment. However, I left one about my stay in Tampa two days ago. I mean, look, Hotels.com, if you really want feedback on the TERRIBLENESS of your suggested option, I will tell you:

First: GROSS

HOW are there sooooooo many rips in the curtains? WHY are there stains in the lamp shades? WHERE did the paint go? WHY IS THIS NOT OBVIOUSLY BEING ADDRESSED BY STAFF? (Oh, and there was a tear in the “comforter” too. Batman showed me but I was too annoyed to take yet another picture. Plus, I didn’t want to think about the possible stabbing that caused it. *shudders*)

Second: LIARS

If the grossness wasn’t enough, how about the act of betrayal? Usually, I stick to my code of known name brand with a king bed and free breakfast. But we were going to be in Tampa for a night. One night. I wasn’t shelling out two hundred dollars—the going rate—for one night. But this place looked nice. Pictures were great and, if I’m to be honest (and somewhat shallow), the outside reminded me of a Holiday Inn.

BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT IT WAS PREVIOUSLY.

These fools bought (or possibly found) an old Holiday Inn and didn’t bother to renovate. You can tell it’s an old Holiday Inn because the outline of the letters are still clearly visible on the building, which means they also didn’t bother to clean. Or put any sort of effort into making this place their own. Or good. Or hospitable.

Third: EMPTY

To top it all off, they were out of candy.

I sent Batman on a mission for a bottle of water and a candy bar. He came back with the water and nothing else, and part of me died. No candy. No FREAKING candy. Ripped curtains. Stained lamp. LIED TO. And now no candy?

What. The. Fuck.

Let this be a lesson to you: stick to the code. Don’t deter from the code or else THIS will happen. You’ll find yourself candy-less in a bed where a stabbing most likely occurred, next to a set of drapes where the stabbing most likely continued. The whole place is a murder scene. You’re in a murder scene.

Stick to the code.

EDIT: I DID take a picture of the rip in the “comforter”

I wasn’t lying. Not like some “hotels.”

But seriously, how are you out of candy?!?!

This Needs to be the Majority Folks

My heart hurts ☹

So many of the people I love have been going through some EPIC shit struggles right now. One right after the other right after the other, and I want to make it all go away. For all of them. But the sucky thing about being a human and not a demi-God is the inability to make loneliness, sickness, and constant fear go away. No matter how much you want it to.

(Demi-Gods, you’ve won this round!)

I don’t mean for this to be a sad post; I’m sorry. It’s just that a friend hit me with some news recently, and I didn’t expect it. I was focused on other friends’ troubles and this one landed on top of it and wow.

Just…

Wow.

So many people I love are in pain. ☹

Are you feeling this too? Is there a moon shifting somewhere? Mercury colliding with Mitsubishi or something? Like WHAT is happening? (and please don’t tell me this is the end of the world. No, it isn’t. Shut up.) I hope whatever’s going on in the universe corrects itself because it’d be nice to hear someone say that something amazing happened to them. (And yes, a few of you have, but I want more of you to. Like, this needs to be the majority, folks).

So, why don’t we make a list then, huh? Tell me one AMAZING thing that’s happened to you recently. Big or small, I don’t care. Get the closest spot in the parking lot? NICE. Find twenty dollars in your back pocket? AWESOME. Someone give up their seat for you? HOLY FREAKING SHIT. Tell me. I want to know. I want to know it all. Life sucks sometimes so please help remind me why it doesn’t.

I’ll go first:

I purchased something small but meaningful for my wedding and I absolutely LOVE IT. Can’t tell ya what it is; you’ll have to wait for the pictures…some six hundred days from now (but who’s counting?). But yeah, it made me happy. Now you go. What’s something amazing that’s happened recently?

Also, because, how is he not amazing?

I’m Being a Good Writer

Batman took me to my first Bridal Expo.

I paid and there was free food and a bar so…yeah. Plus, he’s a gamer, so I spun it like we were doing recon. Because we were. Because this entire year is recon for next year so when the time comes to make the hard/expensive decisions, we know what we’re doing. 😊 (realistically: we know slightly more than nothing).

I’m a planner. You? I have to look at things months in advance. Interesting since I’m a panster when it comes to writing, but I usually spin my wheels thinking when I’m not at my keyboard. So…sort of off-duty planning, I guess. (We’ll call that backstage recon writing).

I’ve been working on Return to Dellapalania which has been coming along at a slug’s speed, but I’m constantly distracted with Pintrest and the Knot and Wedding Wire and JUST KNOWING there’s so much stuff I could be looking at. I’m excited, guys—what can I say? But I’ve decided to limit wedding-stuff to thirty minutes to an hour AFTER I’ve committed myself to around an hour of writing.

See? I’m being a good writer 😊

But what I really need to do is work on RTD, so I’m going to do that. Need to give the Patrons over at ol’ Patreon something to read on Friday. That’s right. I have little snippets from my first draft that I post to Patreon so you can sneak a peek at what first drafts look like (and how much they suck).

Hope you’re having a great week!

Happy hump day!

It’s This Little Town

I went to Savannah 😊

It’s this little town in Georgia. Heard of it?

If you haven’t gone, I *highly* recommend going. I’ve been three times now, and have had a blast each trip! Also, I’ve managed to do something new. Yeah, it’s one of those places. Every visit there’s a new region or street or shop to explore. The one thing I have done each trip is the ghost tour…because I mean, come on. Ghost tours! The first one I was drunk (so it doesn’t count.) The second one, Batman and I went on, and we bonded with our guide who was also way into the Walking Dead. This last time was super spooky, except our guide was like a stranger version of Andy Dick. Think about that for a second.

One of the highlights of the trip (besides spending it with two awesome ladies!) was the American Prohibition Museum. Educational with a lot of large installations and wax figures. There was also a Speak Easy inside! How cool is that?

I also did my first Escape Room. We were trapped in Alcatraz and trying to escape, but we had to find our file in the Warden’s office. I was useless. I contributed absolutely nothing other than holding the flashlight, so the other, smarter people could figure out the clues. Yes, we won (with 10 minutes to spare!) but I know I did nothing besides directing light, and I’m fine with that.

I will *totally* be doing another escape game.

Have you been to Savannah? If so, what did you like about it? If not, do you want to go?

Worried About My Italian Gestures

My main focus—MAIN FOCUS—is to Not. Bump. The. Ring.

#facepalm

Besides planning the world’s most epic wedding (don’t worry; this won’t become a wedding-planning blog. Not entirely) the only thing I’m focused on is not bumping this ring for the THOUSANDATH time. How is it NOT BROKEN? HOW?

Seriously.

Batman had to fix my vintage 90’s mood ring, like a *billion* times because that sucker kept flying off every time I told a story or had an animated conversation. I’m Italian. I talk with my hands. I’m also a heavy level of uncoordinated, so I walk into things. A lot. And though I love my mood ring dearly, it was only fifty cents. If Batman can’t fix it for the gazillionth time—okay. Whatever. I’ll fashion it into a necklace. But the one on my left hand? Na-uh. Can’t break that one.

But I keep hearing it hit the steering wheel. My desk at work. My keyboard at work. The LITERAL wall. I’m seriously surprised I haven’t nicked it yet. Ladies—how do you get around this? Or am I just going to get used to the extra weight? It’s not like I’m rocking the Hope Diamond over here, so I’m sure I’ll adjust…I’m just worried about my Italian gestures in the meantime. 😊

Let’s see…what else…

Oh! I’ve finally watched You, that Netflix show everyone is talking about and I must say: I’m interested. It’s kind of weird, and you’re not really sure what you’re feeling most of the time, but it’s not too bad. I’d check it out. We also rented Split recently (James McAvoy, multiple personality movie) and it also did not disappoint. I mainly watched it in preparation for Mr. Glass, which is hopefully our next cinematic adventure. *cough, Batman, cough*

So that’s my life: trying not to destroy Batman’s gesture that I’ve waited almost a decade for…and watching things with weird ass men who murder and like to fuck with women.

*love is in the air*

P.S. What’s going on with you? How is 2019 treating you so far?