IWSG – Who’s a quitter?

I missed last month which makes me lame.

I know.

I almost missed this month if not for the fear of being kicked out of the group, which I super rarely participate in, but still like being a part of. I never join things. Never liked it. I’m more of a social loner who prefers to be by myself, except when I don’t. Like when the trials of being a writer (or any artist) gets too much, it’s good to have a group of people who get it. People who know what you mean because it’s their struggle too.

With all that said—HA! Can’t kick me out now 😉 I’m here. I have my “Hello my name is” sticker and I’m ready to go. Point me toward the refreshment table and let’s do this.

 Did you ever say “I quit?” If so, what happened to make you come back to writing?

No. I’ve never decided to quit.

I’ve teased myself with the idea before, but never fully committed. I don’t think I can. Without sounding too cheese or corny—and maybe some of you can relate—if I go too long without writing, I lose something. Some part of myself that makes me feel like me, a part that makes everything… okayish. I think if I did quit writing, I’d be this totally other person, someone I wouldn’t like, someone who, besides being incredibly attractive, wouldn’t have that spark. That excitement. The thing that makes peoples’ eyes light up.

I’m sure I’ll teeter on the idea of quitting again, at some point when something’s not going the way I planned. I may even decide to take a week off. But then the need to scratch the never-ending itch returns and the sun comes back out again.

Insecure Writer’s Support Group (IWSG) is a monthly blog hop for writers at all levels to share their fears and insecurities in a safe and encouraging place. Please drop by and say hi to Alex Cavanaugh who started this nifty concept in bringing us all together.

P.S. I’m watching 13 Reasons Why. Anyone else? Thoughts?

IWSG – Hanging in there

I’ve not been great lately.

Which is the reason for my blog-absence and maybe why I haven’t written you back or commented on your post or reached out and sent a text (not that I do very often, but usually I don’t like gaps going this long between us. Sorry, guys). There’s just been stuff in my head. And stuff outside my head, like screaming and a lot of crying and a phone being destroyed. Oh, and someone stole $300 dollars from me. Electronically, so the bank has refunded me… pending further investigation upon my whereabouts the other week. There’s also been thoughts. Sad scary thoughts that make me even sadder (and sometimes more afraid) but I’ve been pushing through them with Batman’s help and the Universe/God sending me clues that it’s going to be okay. And it will be. But sometimes it feels like it won’t be and my shoulders get really tight and I feel like they’re going to break even when I tell myself they’re shatter-proof.

But I’ve been writing every day and working on Morty & Co.—a pictorial culmination of what almost a decade in an office can (and has) done to a person. Some days I look at it and think it’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever created and others I’m working on it for hours. Artist mentality at its finest.

I’m going to be bold and opt not to answer the monthly question. It’s a good one, but I feel like I’d be battering myself because I don’t take advantage of the free help and writing about that could spin me into a downward spiral of reasons why I’m going to fail and I’ve just now peeked over the pit I’ve fallen into. So, I’m going to look up—or straight ahead—instead of down and take a pass on this one.

Insecure Writer’s Support Group (IWSG) is a monthly blog hop for writers at all levels to share their fears and insecurities in a safe and encouraging place. Please drop by and say hi to Alex Cavanaugh who started this nifty concept in bringing us all together.

New Things are Awesome Things, IWSG

Oh yeah.

Guess who figured out how to use the camera on this here computer. Wait for it.

So that’s me. Very strange. Obviously enchanting.

Anyway.

I’m dipping my toe into the video aspect of the internet. Not sure I’m going full vlog, but I plan on dying someday so I figure there’s no time like the lively present to do something I’ve been vaguely curious about. I’ll be dipping an even bigger toe in next Friday at 8 (like, next Friday – 3/10) when I will live stream on Christie’s Coffee Corner, a weekly interview session with authors.

Oh yeah. This is happening. It’s us hanging out while you ask me questions and I answer them or you don’t ask me anything and I end up staring awkwardly at you. Either way. This shit is going down. Stalkers are welcome, but please limit your questions to the appropriate ones. Oh, and um, no math queries. Let’s keep it reasonable here, people.

Other than Christie’s Coffee Corner, I’m still working on BTT, and can’t wait to get some Betas on board. It needs at least one more round of edits before it’s presentable, but every day I feel a little bit closer to that finish line. I’m also working on this super awesome secret project that I cannot WAIT to reveal and when it gets closer to nearing completion—which it isn’t—I will. So, for now, let me dazzle you with how excited I am for Better Than This, my soon to be first YA Contemporary Romance. AND it features musicians. Come on, guys. MUSICIANS.

Now, onto the optional question for IWSG!

Have you ever pulled out a really old story and reworked it? Did it work out?

I guess short answer… no?

I’ve definitely opened old documents and chuckled to myself, mostly at the poor writing. But I never dive into them. At least I haven’t, yet. I think I’m the kind of writer that needs to write in the moment because if I’m excited by something, that’s the time to write it. Of course, if I came across a project I’d forgotten I’d written, something that intrigued me… then sure, why not? Anything’s possible. 😉

Insecure Writer’s Support Group (IWSG) is a monthly blog hop for writers at all levels to share their fears and insecurities in a safe and encouraging place. Please drop by and say hi to Alex Cavanaugh who started this nifty concept in bringing us all together.

 

Stay the Course, IWSG

Current to-do list:

  • Finish (ahem, *start*) the fifth and final book in my Arizal Wars Series. (I’m sorry, Joleene. You’ll read about Reid soon. Promise)
  • Finish (actually finish) BTT which is going through its fourth/fifth/sixth round of edits which I *hope* gets it publishable for later this year. (I will be needing BETAs so…yeah… anyone interested in contemporary romance with musicians? Bookmark this shit)
  • Start/develop this super amazing idea I had to get me out of my cubicle chains and into the CEO position I so clearly was born for. Hard part? Figuring out how to transition the idea into reality. Wish I could tell you more but I have a thing with jinxing myself, so I’ll leave it a big mystery for now. Just know it exists. And is coming. And is going to be AWESOME.

This is what I’ve got planned for this year and I’m really aiming to make all these happen, even if RTD (AW book 5) is only an outline. There’s so much I want to do and only a finite amount of days to do them in, so I figure, why wait? Just do them all at the same time. Overlap them bitches. And that’s what I’m doing 🙂  A hand in this project. A hand in another. You may see some posts about writing BTT and others about this cool idea thing I have that I can’t tell you about yet (jinxing, member? you member) so, stay tuned for that awesomeness.

Other than an AMAZING TRIP PLANNED TO SAN FRANCISCO in a few months, nothing’s new with me. With that said, onto this month’s optional question:

How has being a writer changed your experience as a reader?

At first I answered this question Yes. Absolutely. Then I reread it and saw that shitty little ‘how’ at the start and felt an essay coming on, so I’ll thesis-size it for you and just say this:

I’m conscious of what I read—everything I read—and everything I read is dissected into things I should and shouldn’t do. Things that work and don’t work. Once a reader becomes a writer, they see behind the scenes, and that’s something that can never be undone.

Insecure Writer’s Support Group (IWSG) is a monthly blog hop for writers at all levels to share their fears and insecurities in a safe and encouraging place. Please drop by and say hi to Alex Cavanaugh who started this nifty concept in bringing us all together.

P.S. – Anyone have suggestions for things that I absolutely HAVE TO DO while I’m in San Fran?

A New Year, IWSG

Well hey there, 2017 😉

*Sexy growl*

I’m excited for this year because I think I’m going to publish something new. Something outside my Arizal Wars series which yes, I will be finishing. At some point. Just not in the next twelve months. I have to put it on hold because my muse is still rioting for Better Than This, a project I’ve been working on since last May and in this fourth (fifth/sixth/seventh—I’ve stopped counting) round of editing, I’m finally seeing the shape of things and it doesn’t totally suck balls. Hallelujah!

I had no idea what I was writing before. One book. Two. Three novellas. I was all over the place, not even sure I planned on sharing it with anyone (still not—always on the fence until I get all Eye of the Tiger and press submit.) Anyway, last week I realized the book I was writing is actually three books and everything sort of fell into place which is awesome because now I can focus on the first one, the one I’m *hoping* to publish later this year. So, any YA Contemporary Romance readers/reviewers out there, try to remember this awesome blog that you stumbled upon and the possibility of a kickass book coming out this year that you know nothing about. Yeah. Get stoked.

Now on to the optional question of the month!

What writing rule do you wish you’d never heard?

That would be to outline.

I read something (somewhere at some point in my life) that before you write even a SINGLE WORD you have to have a detailed outline of the events in the story and how it’s all going to end. This is bullshit. Okay? Let’s say it again. Bullshit.

I think that maybe yeah, this will work for a certain group of people, but I struggled with having to outline stories I didn’t even end up writing. I forced it. I solidified events and when I tried writing them, I went off script and ended up frustrated. Mad at myself. Blaming myself for not keeping to the outline. Blaming myself for not writing correctly.

Well sorry, you stupid essay I once read–that’s not how I write. I’m a full blooded panster because I don’t believe my stories belong to me. They belong to the characters so it’s their shit to tell. I’m just the vessel that does it.

So anyway, yeah, I don’t do outlines. That’s not to say that if you do, you’re in the wrong. People write however it works for them. I just wish I wasn’t told there was only one correct way.

Insecure Writer’s Support Group (IWSG) is a monthly blog hop for writers at all levels to share their fears and insecurities in a safe and encouraging place. Please drop by and say hi to Alex Cavanaugh who started this nifty concept in bringing us all together.

Not Giving Up Yet, IWSG

This is super last minute but I didn’t want to get kicked out of the IWSG club. I should’ve written this post on Sunday but I was at a losing football match and then in a game store for way too long waiting on Batman to add to his NES collection so by the time I got home and played with Appa, I only wanted to sit down and wait for WestWorld to come on. Which is what I did. (PLEASE watch Westworld. Let’s talk about it. I need more people to talk about it with.)

And here we are. Tuesday night.

As far as writing goes…I’m fine. I guess. I almost didn’t write this post because I don’t want to jinx the not having depressive thoughts over writing/being a writer/living a writer lifestyle. It’s pretty much a daily battle, but if I at least get a little writing done (even if marketing / reading / networking / EVERYTHING ELSE goes out the window) I consider it a win. And I have been writing each day—same thing that’s been in my head since the beginning of this year.

Sometimes I look at my WIP and think “psshh—you’re NEVER showing this to a living soul.”

Other times I’m like “THIS BOOK WILL RULE THE BESTSELLERS LIST.”

So, I’m not really sure how I feel about it. But each day there’s progress and I’ll take that over falling into the pit of depression and self-loathing and wishing I was something straightforward like a teacher or nurse or whatever real adults do for a living.

The IWSG question this month:

In terms of your writing career, where do you see yourself five years from now, and what’s your plan to get there?

Oh, geez, I don’t know. I’d planned on being a bestselling author by now, but maybe 36 is more my year. I have absolutely NO IDEA where I’m going to be in five years, but I hope I’m still writing.

No. I KNOW I’ll still be writing.

Will I be making any money from it? I sure hope so. I also hope I won’t kill myself between now and then working away at a string of dead-end jobs waiting for my Colleen Hoover moment.

Insecure Writer’s Support Group (IWSG) is a monthly blog hop for writers at all levels to share their fears and insecurities in a safe and encouraging place. Please drop by and say hi to Alex Cavanaugh who started this nifty concept in bringing us all together.

P.S. I’m only kidding about killing myself. It’d just be a serious maiming.

P.P.S. I’m kidding about the maiming. NOT kidding about the depression or occasional suicidal thought. But we all get those. I’m pretty sure Bill Burr covered it in one of his skits. God I love Bill Burr.

It’s Pretty Obvious, IWSG

So, I missed last month’s IWSG. 😦

Second time I’ve done this, in like, the past few months, which I am not proud of. But there was a hurricane to survive, a Halloween party to throw, and everything that comes along with being human and living life here on this lovely planet of ours. So there are all my excuses. Now on with the show 🙂

November’s question: What is your favorite aspect of being a writer?

For me, it’s the actual writing part. And yes, I did give this some thought. I toyed around with getting great feedback/reviews from people because that shit is awesome. Like instant molly for your soul. But as high a high as that is, I dig the writing more. I’m not sure it needs to be explained here, in a writing blog hop, but you know what I mean. Opening the door to Narnia and all that. Losing yourself to your own words and own imagination. That’s the good stuff. The friends you make, the audience you gain, the seeing your name on someone’s TBR list—they’re all amazing perks to the wonderful bit of magic we’ve already been given.

Now what about you? What’s your favorite part of being a writer?

Insecure Writer’s Support Group (IWSG) is a monthly blog hop for writers at all levels to share their fears and insecurities in a safe and encouraging place. Please drop by and say hi to Alex Cavanaugh who started this nifty concept in bringing us all together.