Life Can’t Be That Bad

This should probably be saved for IWSG, but I’m not feeling confident about writing. ☹

At all.

Let me start again.

I’m not feeling confident about writing for a living. I want to (really, really), but I’m just not confident that it’s ever going to happen. Like, ever. Hopefully, this is the tiny pessimist in me screaming to be heard, and she’ll just shut up. Maybe she won’t. She’s been singing this bull for years and sometimes I get sucked in. Grr.

I’m just overwhelmed. Not by the writing part, but the everything-else part. Some people can write AND hold down a fulltime job (with overtime) AND be happy in their relationships/social lives AND only sleep three hours but that’s not me. I need eight hours.

I’m fine, really. Just feeling a little sad, and maybe disappointed. I’m sure this will pass until the pessimist returns again in five or six months, but by then, I should have a decent wine collection going, so I’ll deal with it discreetly.

There’re a lot of positive/encouraging things I post on FB, and yes, it’s mainly for all of you, because I know you’re all hurting in your own private ways. But I also post them for me as a reminder to breathe, and that it’s going to be okay. So, maybe I won’t write for a living, and maybe I’m not supposed to. Maybe there’s something else way cooler  that I’m supposed to do? *shrugs*

I honestly have no idea.

But it’ll be okay.  I have a wine collection growing. Life can’t be that bad. 😊

I’m Being a Good Writer

Batman took me to my first Bridal Expo.

I paid and there was free food and a bar so…yeah. Plus, he’s a gamer, so I spun it like we were doing recon. Because we were. Because this entire year is recon for next year so when the time comes to make the hard/expensive decisions, we know what we’re doing. 😊 (realistically: we know slightly more than nothing).

I’m a planner. You? I have to look at things months in advance. Interesting since I’m a panster when it comes to writing, but I usually spin my wheels thinking when I’m not at my keyboard. So…sort of off-duty planning, I guess. (We’ll call that backstage recon writing).

I’ve been working on Return to Dellapalania which has been coming along at a slug’s speed, but I’m constantly distracted with Pintrest and the Knot and Wedding Wire and JUST KNOWING there’s so much stuff I could be looking at. I’m excited, guys—what can I say? But I’ve decided to limit wedding-stuff to thirty minutes to an hour AFTER I’ve committed myself to around an hour of writing.

See? I’m being a good writer 😊

But what I really need to do is work on RTD, so I’m going to do that. Need to give the Patrons over at ol’ Patreon something to read on Friday. That’s right. I have little snippets from my first draft that I post to Patreon so you can sneak a peek at what first drafts look like (and how much they suck).

Hope you’re having a great week!

Happy hump day!

I Need Some Purchased Hours IWSG

Besides writing, what other creative outlets do you have?

(I figured I’d jump right into the IWSG question; no introduction. I’m dangerous like that😉)

Let’s see, besides writing, I have a ton of creative outlets—I just don’t utilize most of them. There is a very dusty keyboard to my left that I wish I would play more of, but any available free time goes to this keyboard (see what I did there?) I also love to sketch sarcastic cartoon comics that I day-dream will be the next Garfield (but like, a thousand times different. And darker. Way darker.) If we could buy time, I’d never have money for anything because I’d spend it all on more hours. Forget the wedding. Batman and I will make due at the courthouse—with a kickass honeymoon, let’s not get crazy here—but everything else would go to the “purchased hours” I could actually be productive in.

Ah, society. I could serve you much better. But you keep making me pay for shit.

What about you? Do you dabble in more than one artistic field? Or when you’re fed up with your favorite medium, what do you switch to?

Insecure Writer’s Support Group (IWSG) is a monthly blog hop for writers at all levels to share their fears and insecurities in a safe and encouraging place. Please drop by and say hi to Alex Cavanaugh who started this nifty concept in bringing us all together.

First Come the Cardholders

I know I said I wouldn’t talk (much) about writing here, but I have to show you:

LOOK.

Look at these AMAZING card holders I found at work. 😊 😊 😊

I was grabbing a bottle of water from the break-room and there they were, just sitting there all alone on the counter, abandoned. I checked to make sure they didn’t belong to anybody (even let them sit for a couple hours) but when they were still there at the end of the day, I figured it was safe to call it – and I don’t feel bad AT ALL. These two beauties have inspired me to:

  • Get going on my branding, because I want some sweet-ass cards to fill them
  • Visualize my table when I finally attend a book expo as an author (gotta put my cards somewhere, right?)
  • Realize I might need two different card-holders for a reason (details coming soon!)

So there. That’s it. This post was mostly about me getting a bottle of water from the break-room and then stealing stuff I found nearby. It just happened to be cool, amazing, super-inspiring, career-developing stuff. That I found next to a refrigerator. This is my life.

There are other, more exciting things that are happening, but I’m not at liberty to discuss. Actually, I can—I just don’t want to. Not now. Right now is the time for celebrating people who leave unwanted goods for lower totem-pole employees to grab and keep. And to use for inspiration to one day book a table at an author/writer/book convention/expo.

You know what they say: first come the cardholders. Then come the fans.

P.S. Shut up. They say this. And if they don’t, they will 😉

P.P.S. If you read AW and want the scoop on how the first draft of RTD is going, check out my Patreon page where I post snippets of my progress. That’s right, baby. Sneak Peeks of first draft crap. How are you not already there reading it?

I Hope You Enjoy It

This post is going to be short because:

  1. I live a boring life and don’t have much to say
  2. I’m first chapter into writing RTD and DO NOT WANT TO STOP

There should probably be a number three, but I think number two sums it up. I’ve got the energy going and I’m pantsing this baby like a mofo. What’d I say last week? Good vibes 😊 Alright 😊 For your pleasure/entertainment/whatever, here’s a current picture of me and Batman at his work holiday party:

Happy holidays to you—whatever you choose to do! Whether it’s lighting eight candles (which I believe has passed…sorry…happy belated Hanukkah!), opening presents with friends and family, or laying on the couch doing nothing, I hope you enjoy it.

Alright, back to writing RTD. (Woop!)

See ya on the flip side of Christmas. Fingers crossed you get everything you didn’t realize you wanted.

*Every.Single.Day

On my commute home, there’s this short light that keeps our street backed up for two to three light cycles. It’s where I usually check my email and texts because I’m going to be sitting for a while. I know this. We all know this. We all know that in order to cross over this one busy highway, we have to do our penance and sit and wait for the light to change, and when it does, it feels three seconds long.  WE ALL KNOW THIS. IT DOES NOT CHANGE.

But this motherfucker:

Gets in the left-only turning lane, bypassing everyone, and then jets back over into our lane. I could understand if this was an “oops! Got in the wrong lane!” Or “Didn’t realize this was turn-only!” Whatever. I’m super forgiving for things like that because I do things like that. Because I’m terrible with directions and can totally get how you end up going the wrong way down a one-way street (twice) because it’s dark and you might need glasses. I get it.

But this motherfucker does this nearly *EVERY SINGLE DAY. We’re apparently on the same route home, and every day she whips past me, right to the front of the line. Then she slows down, puts on her blinker, and waits for the light to change. And I’m looking around like, am I the only person who’s seeing this? Can we all agree that this SAME CAR is doing this SAME JACKASS THING every day? Why haven’t we rioted against her? We need to unite and riot against her! Then the light turns green and someone lets her in.

*Every. Single. Day.

In other news, I started writing Return to Dellapalania. (YAY!!!) I haven’t touched Arizal Wars for a long time because I’ve been preoccupied with BTT. Mind you, I’ve been writing AW since 2011, so when a sexy side-series sashayed my way, it was hard to decline the temptation. 😊 Anyways, I’m three pages in and excited! To be honest, BTT was just the break I needed because now I feel refreshed and revamped and ready to go. I’d like to say this one will be ready next year, but I don’t want to say that. Not yet. I will when I’m more than three pages in and have an idea. Still. Good vibes, guys. Good gives 😊

Except for that bitch who cuts in line in traffic. She can eat a donkey dick.

*I’d be lying if I said it was every day. It happens more like 2-3 times a week, which is plenty often to be considered a jackass if you ask me.