So, Batman and I went out to a fancy, expensive dinner to celebrate our one-year anniversary. It did not go well.

I’m normally a pretty chill person. I don’t like confrontation, and I don’t like to cause a scene, which is probably why I didn’t respond the way I should’ve when the shift manager came to our table (after being requested) for the second time…since the entire restaurant seemed to have forgotten that we existed.

First, we were sat at the bitch table. You know which one I’m talking about—the “last minute/forgotten/need to squeeze them in” table, even though a reservation was made a week in advance. It was along the wall (where a table shouldn’t be) sandwiched between two larger tables, already making me feel like we weren’t as important. But fine, a table is a table. As long as I’m getting served the same delicious food as everyone else—it’s all good. Except, it wasn’t.

After our (initial?) server came to our table to welcome us, I thought everything would be fine. I explained we were there on our first anniversary, having come a year before on our honeymoon, and she advised we’d be getting a free dessert since we were celebrating something. Very nice. Still very excited. And then she floated away like a petal in the breeze never to be seen from again.

Okay.

Some guy in Glasses asked if we’d like any drinks (never introduced himself). I ordered one glass of red wine, and Batman ordered himself a drink. Glasses left, and we went to the cold salad bar to get some sides and—my personal favorite—the candied bacon station. When we got back to our bitch table, my glass of wine was waiting for me, and we started to eat. Still all good.

Then the clock started ticking. Where was Batman’s drink? And the free little cheese breads? They were good and we were running low, so I wanted more. (This is a fancy place, so if I’m okay asking for more bread at LongHorn, I don’t mind asking for more bread there either. We’re paying for it). Except…there was no one to ask. No one to follow up on Batman’s drink order. No one ever came to our table.

We waited. And waited and waited to the point where we’d finished our sides and already had some of the delicious meat (it’s a Brazilian Steakhouse so people with meat walk around cutting off slices of its amazingness). Like, the meal was more than halfway done and Batman STILL hadn’t gotten his drink while I was working my way toward a second glass of wine. At this point, I decided to flag down the water girl.

After asking if she could send someone to our table, Glasses showed up ANNOYED that we were bothering him since he was clearly working the giant ten-top table behind us. He made me feel like I shouldn’t have bothered him for asking for my second glass of wine and finding out where Batman’s drink was. He disappeared and we NEVER SAW HIM AGAIN.

We waited. And waited and waited to the point where I flagged down the Shift manager (first time) to check on our drinks. I was also wondering where our sides were since our meal included sides (not the cold salad bar) and I completely forgot to ask because by this point, I was extremely disappointed. After cheering myself up with some more candied bacon, I came back to our table and the shift manager brought me my second glass of wine and Batman’s drink. Still no sides.

The giant ten-top table behind us got up, and a team of four employees cleaned the table, reset it, and then sat another table of ten (a bachelor party), Glasses got their drink orders and within that time, NO ONE CAME TO CHECK ON US.

We’d planned on getting dessert (in addition to the complimentary one) and Batman was going to get a second drink. Nope. Not anymore. We wanted to leave. Glasses walked past us like a million times, other parties of two were checked on, some in t-shirts and jeans (Batman and I were dressed up) but no one bothered to come to our table to see how we were doing, if we wanted another drink, dessert, a check, anything.

So, we sat again. Waiting. Batman said we should just leave. Just get up and walk out on the bill because it’s not like they knew were we there anyway. They’d clearly disregarded us, even after telling them we were there for a special occasion. So, after STILL WAITING for ANYONE to come to our table, I ended up flagging down another water girl. Asked to send over the shift manager for the second time—we were ready to leave.

I could’ve gotten ugly. Maybe I should’ve? But when he came over, I told him what happened, how NO ONE ever came to our table and how disappointed we were since we were there celebrating an occasion. He reminded us of our free dessert which we declined because, would we even get it? I said we wanted the check and wanted to go. We didn’t want to spend any more time there. Again, I probably could’ve gotten a little more aggressive with how poorly we were treated but at that point, we just wanted to leave the damn restaurant.

To make up for their poor service, the shift manager comped our meal TEN DOLLARS – the free dessert we would’ve gotten regardless. Oh, and 20% off our next visit. Yeah, like we’ll be returning.

I think about it and I literally don’t have words. I’m truly appalled at our experience, which is sad since it was our first anniversary. We just wanted one night where we could brush off the Poor, but thanks FDC – you made sure that wasn’t the case.

Guess we have to be fancy like Applebee’s going forward. At least they’ll check on us.

~Lady Caitlin