I accidentally stole $7 dollars from a sandwich shop.

Not my intention. In my defense, I fully intended to pay the $13 dollar tab—WITH TIP—but it just didn’t work out that way, partly due to me not paying attention and partly to the fact that I’m not a millionaire yet. HAD I been a millionaire, the debit card offered would’ve been loaded with money and not the measly scraps remaining before the following payday. I meant to use Capital One. I reminded myself. But, out of habit, I reached for my normal card, paid, and then saw the receipt. How could half a sandwich and a drink cost me $26?! Because she’d handed me the wrong receipt…and when I went up to get mine, there was a SEVEN DOLLAR BALANCE DUE that she didn’t notice. Neither did I. I only noticed when I sat down and thought—why do I still owe a balance?

Oh. Ohhhhhh.

Oh crap.

I mean, it’s only $7 dollars. From a (national?) restaurant chain. It’s not like I accidentally stole from a Mom n’ Pops place because then I’d feel awful. But, being the over-thinker and anxiety-ridden human that I am, the entire lunch was spent wondering if I should have them void the transaction and re-run it, or, as my lunch date insisted, enjoy the free half meal. I went with the latter.

Why am I telling you this? One—it makes me feel better. The truth will set you free and all that. Two—just a reminder to the Universe that I’m *still* not a millionaire, and had I been, this wouldn’t have happened. The entire meal would’ve been paid for, tip included. So, really, if we break it down, it’s the Universe’s fault, and not that I’m a creature of habit and forgot to use my Capital One. Think we can all agree to that.

Have you ever accidentally stolen money because you’re poor and forgot which card to use? See—there’s a bunch of us. We’re not bad people. We’re broke, forgetful souls is all. There. I feel better having talked it out.

Thank you guys! You always make me feel better.

~ Lady Caitlin