Month: May 2021

Magic Comes to You

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Well, here I am, midweek in my first week being on my own. That’s right—I get to choose when to take lunch AND don’t have to worry about making sure I’m doing something correct for someone else. It’s all me, baby. All what I put into it. It actually makes me feel like an adult. Of course, I’m talking to you Day One. Let’s see how I feel Day One Hundred. Might want to be a kid again or have a kid job. I don’t know. But, I’ve tried a lot of other things and they didn’t work out…so…let’s see how I do with this.

Remember, getting good at this job might help me with the salesy part of writing that I DETEST, and so, this isn’t just the next job—it’s the next challenge to make me a better version of me.

(Again, ask me on Day One Hundred how it’s going…)

But I’m optimistic.

I have to be. The alternative is just too depressing, and I’m sorry, I just spent a year dealing with Covid bullshit, so no need to look for darkness when you can anticipate, hope for, and focus on the light.

Truth time: I was getting down on myself for a while because I wasn’t writing a lot. In fact, I was writing very little—the bare minimum I would force myself to write to still feel like I “worked.” For a few nights it was only a handful of sentences. Other nights, barely a few paragraphs. I crept along at turtle-speed, feeling like a creative failure. I was looking for darkness and found it. (Not recommended). Then I did something crazy. I forgave myself. Instead of berating myself for only getting a few sentences in, I applauded myself for inching my work that much more because if I hadn’t forced myself to sit down and focus for even a little bit of time, I wouldn’t have made the progress. I wouldn’t have advanced the story. I would have been just as far from the ending as before, so any work, even the *tiniest* amount counts. I know this—I’ve known this—but we tend to forget. So, when the epiphany sparked, I relaxed and let the darkness go. And then the craziest thing happened: I went in with the mindset of only writing a few sentences but after I reached what I expected would be the limit, I kept going. Kept writing. I wasn’t finished. Not only did I want to write more than a few sentences—I had to. Story was pouring out.

Yes, I know what you’re thinking. It IS like magic. And look, I’m not saying it’s because I’m a Hogwarts Alumni or anything, but sometimes you submit yourself to the light and the magic comes to you. I’m going with this because statistically, it’s worked for me in the past.

Actual book update? Still no title. I’m past the Black Moment now and working on the denouement, the part of the story where things get explained and everything wraps up. Not a thousand percent sure how it’s actually going to end, but, I’ve pansted my way through this whole thing so why should the ending be any different?

On a final note, spent the weekend in Orlando with the family and had an awesome time! We went to Universal Studios on Sunday and I loved showing my nephew the Gringotts Bank ride in the new Harry Potter section. (Also: the ride is awesome. You should go if you haven’t. If you have, you should go again.) Now that the Orlando trip is behind us, it’s time to start setting my sights on summer.

I’m smelling a lot of barbecues in my future…

Have a badass week 😊

~ Lady Caitlin

Excited For This

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It’s a big week for me. Well, it’s the last week. For me for training at work. So, I guess next week is a big week because the training wheels come off and we’ll see how good I do at this sales thing. That’s the other thing I’ll admit about this job: it’s in sales.

I don’t think I could’ve ever guessed that I’d try my hand at something like selling. Usually, I give up after a little resistance, but something about uncapped commission had me shrugging and saying, sure I’ll try. Also: I haven’t given up on this writing thing and while that’s, like, a *huge* part of the job, the other part is making people aware there’s a product, and that they should try it. No selling means no sales means pretty much what I’ve been doing with myself for the last decade. So, maybe this position will give me some tools and help with my writing gig?

Maybe?

I wrote the Black Moment, guys. Do you know what that is? In romance, it’s the part when the couple hit their iceberg, their emotional climax. It’s kind of the part when it seems like all hope is lost for the relationship. I wrote it and barely past it. Know what that means? I’m in the homestretch! I have a vague idea of the next few things that need to happen to bring the book to an end—first draft of rewrite almost done baby!

This is very exciting. It would be more so if I could refer to it by the title, but by the way it’s going, I won’t know until I’ve written the last word. And I still think my muse is going to hold onto it a little longer. Which is fine. It’s all good. I’m just happy the story is falling out of me, because I slowed down there for a little while, and it always makes me nervous when I only manage to squeeze out a few sentences a night. But this past weekend I wrote like a madwoman and I’m really excited for this!

I’m excited with the new direction it’s going.

Like the first storyline, this revised one will be long. Of course, we always trim in editing, so I’m hoping to shave off a bunch. But I think this will be better. Much better.

Okay, so, NEXT week is the big week at work. Every day is a BIG day for writing Untitled and hopefully soon, I’ll share the good news that I’m 1) still employed and 2) onto my second draft and 3) I’ve titled the damn thing (but don’t hold your breath)

Here’s to a fabulous week!

~ Lady Caitlin

Whoever’s In Charge

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I started Mother’s Day with a massacre.

The plan was to open the window and get some beautiful weather in the house. The plan was not to see a ginormous brown spider on the floor at its base. It was also not the plan to spray it to death and watch the spider scuttle away, leaving behind its BILLIONS OF BABIES.

ON MOTHERS DAY.

*internal vomiting*

I would have to commit so much murder, and so, so early. Holding my breath and praying to everything holy, I grabbed the Ant/Roach can and sprayed the billions of scattering brown pinwheels until a white foam enveloped them while SIMULTANEOUSLY killing their scarily-giant mother who took a ridiculously long time to die on the opposite side of the window. On Mother’s Day. All before coffee.

Just like I dreamed it would happen.

How was your Mother’s Day? Hopefully a little less eventful than mine. And hopefully, a lot less massacre-y. Whatever you did, I’m rooting for the opposite of what I did, until I shared some mimosas with family, because that was definitely more enjoyable than the first part.

So…

BACK-TO-BACK weeks guys. What! Where did I go?? What was I doing?? Nowhere and nothing. Super lame, I know. I should’ve come up with an amazing story about impromptu cliff-diving or llama-farm-franchising, but feel honesty is the best policy, so, here we go: my lame butt has been going to my full-time job and then home to Batman and Appa every day. That’s it. That’s really it, and I’m just tired. Totally not an excuse (especially since we don’t have kids) but it is what it is. I’ve been a tired adult. But I’m here now, filling you in on all the lameness so you don’t have to worry if I’ve taken an impromptu cliff-diving trip and fallen off the cliff. I didn’t. I’m not dead. I’m here and alive and still contributing to society while I type away on a keyboard at night, weaving together name-less stories.

Regarding Untitled: it’s going well! I’ve managed to write a bit more each day, and feel myself rounding off toward the third quarter mark. Progress has definitely slowed since the new job, but it hasn’t stalled, and in the last few days, I feel it’s picked up a bit. So, I’m riding the wave of inspiration or dedication or whatever it is, and keeping the tunnel open as long as the words are flowing! So, keep em’ coming, Muse! Or Guardian Angel! Or Writing-God! Or whoever’s in charge up there. Or wherever you are. You know what I mean.

Everything else is good. Life is good. And, other than starting Mother’s Day on a killing spree, I’m in a happy, calming spot.

What about you? How was your holiday? Ever tried to open a window and slaughter a family instead first? Ah, happy times.

Well, off to write more of Untitled. It’s clearly not going to title itself, so why would I think it’d step up and write itself either? These demanding stories making me do all the work. Butler and Maid are yet to show their faces either. The nerve of some people.

Enjoy your week!

~ Lady Caitlin