Well, I got laid off ☹

Not the header I was hoping for this week’s post, but there you go. Just another casualty of the bullshit COVID 2020 storm. I thought we took the majority hit wedding-wise, but I wasn’t aware I’d be wounded so near-fatally again—and so close to the big day.

It came as a shock. A SHOCK. I knew the company wasn’t doing well. They told us about it in every meeting, talking about the numbers being down and how we’d all have to pitch in to help out a bit more. Totally reasonable. Totally understandable, especially when I realized monetary concerns was the reason we hadn’t hired a receptionist after the last one left, and why I had a rotating seat at the front desk (just like everyone else in my former department). I knew the company wasn’t making the money it used to, but I was busy every day, and every day I saw sales coming through. Things got a bit stressful towards the end (part of the reason I crashed and burned a few posts back) but I thought things were improving. I’d hoped they were at least. I kept my talking to a minimum, per a complaint put in against me, so I listened to my Pandora, mumbled along to Megan Trainor and Macklemore lyrics, and went along my busy day.

Then Friday I was called into the big office.

Well, shit.

Now what?

They were letting me go. The company was doing even worse than we were told, and I was of the first wave to be cast off from the wounded island. I’ve never been let go from a job. I’ve quit my fair share, but pre-planning always went into it, and I always got to that point when I realized looking for a job was better than my current work environment. Yeah, I was stressed constantly (and lost a bit of weight from anxiety in dealing with it) but I wasn’t prepared to leave. In fact, I mentioned to a friend two days earlier that while I was ‘over’ my job, I was happy I wasn’t one of the millions who had to look for a new one.

And then came the axe.

Part of me is still in shock, because I know how much I did, and how much certain people depended on me, but I guess that doesn’t matter anymore. My work will be divided up and spread out, meaning I was always replaceable, even when I convinced myself that my awesome work ethic would keep me employed there forever. But it’s okay. I’m finding the blessings and silver linings in it. True, not the *ideal* time to be let go from one’s work—less than a month and a half before my wedding—but suddenly, I have a lot more time to work on it, and to write. Of course, I’m looking for a new monetary adventure as well, but I’ll take this bit of a break that I think my mind and body have been needing.

It’s all about the secret blessings and silver linings, and seeing them when they appear. It’s all you can do (and all you should do!)

Enjoy your week!

~ Lady Caitlin