IWSG Feeling Insecure

Last week brought a lot of tears, and when I’m ugly-sobbing, my brain’s creative functions turn off. It’s like a door slammed shut into the writing/art world, and it’s probably good I don’t visit, because it’s all overcast and murky, and anytime I Chuck Norris the door and *force* myself to go in when I’m not ready, I produce crap. Not first-draft crap. Just nonsensical nonsense, and I end up feeling worse. So, Batman and I binged through a healthy combo of Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon instead. I feel a little better.

There were a lot of wedding discussions, and I think I’m going to make that a separate post…at some point when I feel up to writing it. Besides, this is not only the first day of the month, but also IWSG day, so, I’m going to boomerang back to writing.

Obviously, again, last week, I didn’t get a lot done. I wanted to write a post, but the Chuck Norris in me couldn’t kick down the door to personal writing, and I’m surprised I was able to sneak past it to work on my no-name story as much as I did (which was very little). At this point, I’m convinced it’s just for me because it still doesn’t feel…special. Which is fine, because I don’t feel special as a writer. I guess I’m feeling a little insecure ☹

This year is throwing me all over the place, so I’m not even thinking of writing in the long-term, business-way, like I should be. Right now, it’s just cathartic. I’m writing because I want to. Because it’s makes me happy and lets me breathe again, even if it never sees the light of day, or brings any amount of money (like most of my published writing), it’s a soul-necessity. This is obviously something I’ll have to move past, but for right now, it’s the pace I’m going – and I’m good with that.

Insecure Writer’s Support Group (IWSG) is a monthly blog hop for writers at all levels to share their fears and insecurities in a safe and encouraging place. Please drop by and say hi to Alex Cavanaugh who started this nifty concept in bringing us all together.

7 thoughts on “IWSG Feeling Insecure

  1. ChrysFey says:

    I think not looking at the long-term right now is what we all need to do. Looking at the moment will get us through and hopefully have us writing/creating.

    Wishing you all the best for July!

  2. jennienzor says:

    It’s when I just write for myself, not worrying about who will read it, that I do my best writing. I’ve found that it’s been hard for me to be creative the last few months, so just writing for myself or even journaling has helped me to keep doing some writing. I wonder if this story might be more special than you think. Sometimes when I step back from a project, I see it with new eyes.
    Happy writing!

  3. ahtdoucette says:

    I don’t think there’s anything wrong with writing just because you want to. It might be terrible, but it might be brilliant – and that’s where great writing comes from. Kudos for powering through it all.

  4. Loni Townsend says:

    I’m playing catch-up with my blog reading, so hopefully as I get closer to present day, I will have found that the binge watching of shows has helped immensely and you’re feeling better. It sucks when you’re trapped in a place and the door is shut and forcing it produces crap. But if you’re writing for the sake of writing, that’s great! I hope it helps you out. 🙂

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