I missed last Wednesday’s post.
I’m sorry ☹
I actually had a lot to say, but my brain (and heart) felt overwhelmed about a lot of things, and I couldn’t write any of it. I kept thinking I would get around to it on Sunday, and then Monday, and even Tuesday, but it’s like I had a cloud blocking me. I wouldn’t call it writers block, because I still worked on my no-name story, but writing about myself/life seemed more challenging than usual.
Appa had surgery. Maybe that was part of it. He’s fine, but his health and the finances weighed on me. Also, the craziness of the world right now. So much to feel, and as an empath, it’s like being constantly drowned. I can’t think too heavily on it, because I’ll sink into that place we don’t talk about. If I did, I’ll stare into the nothingness, and unlike the Never Ending Story, Sebastian won’t save the day by calling my name at the end. I’ll be gone.
I’ve felt like I’ve writing about this before, and maybe when I’m older, I’ll have the courage to talk about the nothingness/the blackness/the mist/the goo (all names I use in my head) but for now, I’m going to just reference it. It exists, and it slithers back time and time again, which is why I take a mental break when I need to. I encourage everyone to do the same. I’m feeling better this week, hence the blog post, but my mind is still kind of all over the place. I’m writing no-name story (I NEED TO COME UP WITH A TITLE) and it’s coming along nicely, so I’ll focus on that. Also, I ordered my wedding invitations! Look at me adulting in the middle of a pandemic while the world is on fire.
Not sure if I mentioned any of these shows, but Batman and I have been binging lately, and we highly recommend and *quote* the following:
Community (Hulu)
Space Force (Netflix)
Upload (Prime)
Laughter really is the best medicine, so I try to engage with the stuff as often as possible. As the furthest thing from a doctor, I’d *highly* recommend a healthy dose of it daily, if not hourly. It’s the good stuff, and it’s legal, so why not partake? Hope you all are doing well, staying safe, and helping each other out. We need to.
Sorry to hear you’ve faced the nothingness lately. I get caught up in my own spirals of despair, and I have to hide in my closet just to try to collect myself. I know my side of the family has a history of mental/emotional fluctuations, so I’m doing what I can to figure out how to help myself so I can help my kids if they end up with the same deal.
Good for you for adulting during this trying time! And yay for funny shows!
Sometimes we have to just take that break to collect ourselves. And yes – funny shows are the BEST!
I’ve had the same problem since March. I come out of it briefly and then something happens and bam, it’s right back. My trouble is when I’m like that I’m not interested in writing but more in art. so nothing is happening on the novel front, LOL! In art news I have made some new premade covers no one will ever buy and been sorting out all my elements and textures and all that I;ve been randomly buying and leaving
I’m sorry you’ve been feeling that way 🙁 It’s the WORST. I get what you’re saying about not being able to write. Like there’s too many voices overpowering the characters or something, right? But you can think all the thoughts (or try not to) when you’re making art. I get it! And glad to know you’re sinking into such a satisfying (and fun) outlet.
I’m sure your pre-mades look great! And you never know. You made them for a reason. Some day an author is going to scroll over it and be like THIS IS THE ONE. You’ll see 🙂