Adulting in the Middle of a Pandemic

I missed last Wednesday’s post.

I’m sorry ☹

I actually had a lot to say, but my brain (and heart) felt overwhelmed about a lot of things, and I couldn’t write any of it. I kept thinking I would get around to it on Sunday, and then Monday, and even Tuesday, but it’s like I had a cloud blocking me. I wouldn’t call it writers block, because I still worked on my no-name story, but writing about myself/life seemed more challenging than usual.

Appa had surgery. Maybe that was part of it. He’s fine, but his health and the finances weighed on me. Also, the craziness of the world right now. So much to feel, and as an empath, it’s like being constantly drowned. I can’t think too heavily on it, because I’ll sink into that place we don’t talk about. If I did, I’ll stare into the nothingness, and unlike the Never Ending Story, Sebastian won’t save the day by calling my name at the end. I’ll be gone.

I’ve felt like I’ve writing about this before, and maybe when I’m older, I’ll have the courage to talk about the nothingness/the blackness/the mist/the goo (all names I use in my head) but for now, I’m going to just reference it. It exists, and it slithers back time and time again, which is why I take a mental break when I need to. I encourage everyone to do the same. I’m feeling better this week, hence the blog post, but my mind is still kind of all over the place. I’m writing no-name story (I NEED TO COME UP WITH A TITLE) and it’s coming along nicely, so I’ll focus on that. Also, I ordered my wedding invitations! Look at me adulting in the middle of a pandemic while the world is on fire.

Not sure if I mentioned any of these shows, but Batman and I have been binging lately, and we highly recommend and *quote* the following:

Community (Hulu)

Space Force (Netflix)

Upload (Prime)

Laughter really is the best medicine, so I try to engage with the stuff as often as possible. As the furthest thing from a doctor, I’d *highly* recommend a healthy dose of it daily, if not hourly. It’s the good stuff, and it’s legal, so why not partake? Hope you all are doing well, staying safe, and helping each other out. We need to.

IWSG – Sexy Side Piece

The good news is I’ve been writing. The bad news is it’s not RTD. I know; I’m disappointing my handful of fans everywhere, but when I sit down to write, my new, no-name story is the document I pull up first. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been writing RTD for well over a year and I need a break, but I feel guilty for cheating on it with this sexy side piece. And it is sexy. It’s a contemporary romance, and now that I’m on my second draft, and I added a backstory and goal to my protagonist, because she had neither on the first go-round. Which means this story is gaining some serious substance.

I think it was all the battle scenes from RTD. I *hate* writing battle scenes. If you’ve read this blog for any amount of time, you’ll know this about me. I hate them. I hate them, I hate them, I HATE THEM, but they’re littered in my Arizal Wars series because it’s a sci-fi adventure, and the last book is literally an ongoing invasion. They’re kind of unavoidable. I’m told I write battle scenes well, but unlike dialogue—which is my favorite thing to write in case you’re keeping score—I have to go over every paragraph like a *thousand* times because there is so much movement that needs to happen simultaneously. That’s the issue. You’re not just painting one picture. You’re painting multiple pictures at the same time, and keeping them separate but interwoven so the reader has a clear image while you’re losing your ever-loving mind trying to remember what the hell your characters are doing. This is why writers drink. Or partake in whatever mind-numbing substance helps them get through this. Sometimes it’s chocolate. Most times it’s wine. All the time, it’s something.

So, I’ve taken a small break from RTD to write some witty, flirtatious banter because honestly, I’ve missed it. I did the same thing between books 4 and 5 when I wrote my Better Than This series. I just need a friggin break from guns and whips and darts and death so I can write a little romance, which is pretty much done in the Arizal Wars series (spoiler alert!). Also, I watched some stuff on Netflix and read a Jennifer Armentrout book, so God/the Universe was pointing me in this direction. I just feel a bit guilty.

BUT writing is writing. Work is still getting done, so I can’t beat myself up too much. There. Confession over.

Onto the IWSG Option Question:

Writers have secrets. What are one or two of yours, something readers would never know from your work?

Hmm…I feel like this is a trick question. I can’t even think of any secrets I have, honestly, writing or otherwise. But, if it’s something that my handful of readers would never know about me based on my writing, I guess it’s that I’m not as brave as my characters? I like throwing them into situations I could never handle myself, or handle with any amount of dignity. But I think a lot of writers do that—put their characters face to face with their own inner demons as a way to work through them? I can’t really imagine what else my readers would never know about me having read my work. Maybe that I was super bad dresser growing up? Let’s go with that one, because all my heroines are dressed way cuter than I ever was. Even now.

Insecure Writer’s Support Group (IWSG) is a monthly blog hop for writers at all levels to share their fears and insecurities in a safe and encouraging place. Please drop by and say hi to Alex Cavanaugh who started this nifty concept in bringing us all together.

P.S. And on a personal side note, my heart goes out to everyone right now – everyone suffering, but fighting to make this world a better place. We need you. We love you. We stand with you.