And Then I Lost My Ring

(I’ll preface this with we have it. We found it. Well, Batman did, and I love him even more now. Plucked the thing right out of the grass, all proud at his Sherlock skills for spotting the ring amidst the random bricks and plastic water bottles where it hid. But yes, the ring—THE RING—is secure again on my finger (sort of) where it belongs, and not lost somewhere in the gross exterior of our house that we are most definitely planning on cleaning up. Probably.)

This all started because I wanted to water Artemis. Simple desire. Keep my avocado plant alive, which I’ve done now for half a year  with just a little watering every day, and twice when I can remember. Batman and I were about to head out when I realized I hadn’t watered her yet. My overpriced fancy blue watering can sat in the corner where I’d left it the night before. I reached for it, poured out the remnants, and then turned on the faucet.

And then a lot of things happened at once.

As I turned the knob, I felt something move over my foot. Remember, I live in Florida, so even with it being winter, I’m still sporting sandals ninety percent of the time, meaning my skin is exposed. So, when I felt this thing moving on me, I felt it moving on my actual body, on my actual skin receptors.

And it was a SNAKE.

**INTERNAL VOMIT**

**STILL VOMITING**

It slithered over my foot and disappeared beneath a pile of bricks and I just…reacted. I screamed out my utter terror and disgust that it TOUCHED me, and in my insane bout of flailing, I snapped my hand back just right, and my ring—THE RING—went sailing from my finger and out into the abyss of the untamed, unmowed lawn, complete with mysterious disappearing, snakes.

Not good.

Not fucking good at all.

Batman walked out, unaware of the struggle. Of the panic attack I was having over everything. All I wanted to do was water Artemis—who still hasn’t been watered—and I was petrified of a snake I could no longer see, and an engagement ring I no longer possessed. Goodbye groceries and errands and all normal life. All that exited was combing through every inch of my lawn until I found my important shiny tiny piece of jewelry.

AND THE SNAKE.

A huge concern, seeing as I never really got a good look at where it slithered off to, but my ring was missing. That was the main horror. I’m getting married in nine months and I had no engagement ring. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe it the entire ten minutes Batman and I picked through the lawn where I thought I saw it go flying, and with the snake slithering secretly nearby, it felt more like an eternity. Then, just when I knew I’d have to start the new trend of brides not wearing their engagement rings, Batman reached right down and plucked something shiny from the ground.

So pretty. So not lost.

A thousand waves of relief washed over me. If anything, that day was a win. Not because I did my taxes successfully (I think!) or because I adulted by doing laundry and groceries, but because I DID NOT LOSE MY ENGAGEMENT RING. Even though it flew off my finger in a moment of terror, I still have it. The day was still a success. And yes, I know I need to have it re-sized. I’m getting to it. I’ll only put it off one or two more scares like this one before I get it fitted smaller.

How about you? Any scares? With losing jewelry, spotting a snake, or both?

P.S. Also just now realized this was supposed to be  a IWSG post…so those looking for that post, see you in March!

6 thoughts on “And Then I Lost My Ring

  1. C.D. Gallant-King says:

    My wife nearly lost her engagement ring literally a dozen times. Lost it in her office, down the drain when washing the dog, LEFT IT IN THE SHOWER AT THE GYM. She didn’t tell me most of the stories until years later.

    Trust me, you’re doing fine.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Loni Townsend says:

    Man, I freaked out when I thought someone stole a DVD I was renting. I think I would’ve died if I thought I lost my ring.

    I’m glad you found it. I don’t think I’d be as freaked out by a snake slithering over my foot, but I do recall a time I was cleaning out the garage and came across the shriveled up remains of a mouse. It was in what I thought was an empty mouse trap. So when I picked up the mouse trap and the mouse fell out… I screamed and screamed and ran so far away (out of the garage and into the house). Thankfully I didn’t lose my ring in the process.

    Like

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