I’m Having Pants Issues

It started last week when I couldn’t find my jeans because I’d hung them over a chair (it was raining and the ends were wet) and I forgot and grabbed—what I thought—were the correct jeans. I realized in the car—and far too into the journey—that no, they were NOT the right pair. I’d grabbed the ones I’d discarded to the floor for “emergencies” except I forgot my “emergencies” pair had become my “throw out” pair because the inner thigh material rubbed and there were holes. Awesome.

So, I headed to work in my throw away pants and prayed to God that no one would pay extra attention to my terrible fashion more than usual. Thankfully, everyone kept their probably crude comments to themselves, and I made as few trips to the bathroom and break-room as possible. The jean mix-up spurred the ongoing pursuit of finding black pants in my size, but like most weekends and sports I try, I failed. ☹ But, I did buy one pair of normal blue jeans that I thought fit and looked pretty good in in the Walmart dressing room. I tried them on again and TIGHT.

VERY TIGHT.

WTF did I eat this weekend?

Deciding not to break in my new pair, I reached again for what I thought was my normal, main set of jeans. Instead—yet again—I got my other “emergencies” pair that is wwaaaaaayyyy too big and gives me gap-butt. I am not rocking the pants situation recently. So, if you see me out in the wild, please know I do have clothes that actually fit me and I’m sure they’re on my floor somewhere. Hopefully.

Also—I got a new phone! 😊

Just in time too, because I just finished paying of the other one! Go figure. Batman said he’d tried calling a few times and it never reached me. Also, the thing wouldn’t hold a charge. And my car charger broke. And my garage door opener broke. And the flies have been attacking me (that has nothing to do with the others, but it’s true and I feel like you should know in case I suddenly disappear or have a striking resemblance to Jeff Goldbloom circa 1986). Basically, all the things are happening and I can’t even get the right pants on. It’s been tough.

How’s it been going with you? Are you able to dress yourself? Any devices stop working? Are the flies attacking you too? Tell me everything.

One thought on “I’m Having Pants Issues

  1. Loni Townsend says:

    Yowch. That doesn’t sound like fun. Well, the new phone is cool, but the pants situation isn’t.

    Just between you and me, I gave up on jeans years ago (about 5 years ago, when my son was born). Now, I wear leggings and joggers–solid colors so the people at work don’t complain about my dress code. Not that they would really notice, since I shave the sides of my head and my hair is dyed (currently) jade. In fact, I think my pants might be the most business-looking thing about me.

    Like

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