It started last week when I couldn’t find my jeans because I’d hung them over a chair (it was raining and the ends were wet) and I forgot and grabbed—what I thought—were the correct jeans. I realized in the car—and far too into the journey—that no, they were NOT the right pair. I’d grabbed the ones I’d discarded to the floor for “emergencies” except I forgot my “emergencies” pair had become my “throw out” pair because the inner thigh material rubbed and there were holes. Awesome.

So, I headed to work in my throw away pants and prayed to God that no one would pay extra attention to my terrible fashion more than usual. Thankfully, everyone kept their probably crude comments to themselves, and I made as few trips to the bathroom and break-room as possible. The jean mix-up spurred the ongoing pursuit of finding black pants in my size, but like most weekends and sports I try, I failed. ☹ But, I did buy one pair of normal blue jeans that I thought fit and looked pretty good in in the Walmart dressing room. I tried them on again and TIGHT.

VERY TIGHT.

WTF did I eat this weekend?

Deciding not to break in my new pair, I reached again for what I thought was my normal, main set of jeans. Instead—yet again—I got my other “emergencies” pair that is wwaaaaaayyyy too big and gives me gap-butt. I am not rocking the pants situation recently. So, if you see me out in the wild, please know I do have clothes that actually fit me and I’m sure they’re on my floor somewhere. Hopefully.

Also—I got a new phone! 😊

Just in time too, because I just finished paying of the other one! Go figure. Batman said he’d tried calling a few times and it never reached me. Also, the thing wouldn’t hold a charge. And my car charger broke. And my garage door opener broke. And the flies have been attacking me (that has nothing to do with the others, but it’s true and I feel like you should know in case I suddenly disappear or have a striking resemblance to Jeff Goldbloom circa 1986). Basically, all the things are happening and I can’t even get the right pants on. It’s been tough.

How’s it been going with you? Are you able to dress yourself? Any devices stop working? Are the flies attacking you too? Tell me everything.

To be honest, I had plenty of time to write this post after coming home from jury duty yesterday. Instead, I watched episodes of Parks &Rec and wrote a lot of RTD. (#sorrynotsorry)

I can’t talk about much about jury duty, (because, you know, the government is probably reading this) but I will say this: it was my second time being called, the parking was much better this go-around, and YES I GOT CALLED BACK. ☹

The first time I went, I sat in this big room and read the entire Goblet of Fire. There was a break for lunch, and that was it. Throughout the day, names were called and people left and at around five o’clock, we were all dismissed. But yesterday, they called lists. TWO lists. For TWO different trials. And guess who was called first on list number two?

I didn’t get chosen. Let’s just make that clear. I am not a juror and THANK GOD because I didn’t want to be, but I did have to go to the back and be asked a bunch of questions and it was like being on the very boring version of My Cousin Vinny. (I don’t watch a lot of law shows. This is pretty much all I’m pulling from). There was a lot of legal jargon from some not so attractive people, and at one point I almost fell asleep. But, I made it out, UN-JURORED and all is well in the universe again.

Anyway, I meant to write this post when I had some time, but it’s Tuesday night, and Appa is sleeping and farting next to me, so I’m going to go ahead and end it here. There’s not much more to tell, and the dog’s gas is bordering hazardous. At this point, it’s a safety thing.

Have a great Wednesday!

P.S. Have you ever been called for jury duty? Did you get called to the back??