Worried About My Italian Gestures

My main focus—MAIN FOCUS—is to Not. Bump. The. Ring.

#facepalm

Besides planning the world’s most epic wedding (don’t worry; this won’t become a wedding-planning blog. Not entirely) the only thing I’m focused on is not bumping this ring for the THOUSANDATH time. How is it NOT BROKEN? HOW?

Seriously.

Batman had to fix my vintage 90’s mood ring, like a *billion* times because that sucker kept flying off every time I told a story or had an animated conversation. I’m Italian. I talk with my hands. I’m also a heavy level of uncoordinated, so I walk into things. A lot. And though I love my mood ring dearly, it was only fifty cents. If Batman can’t fix it for the gazillionth time—okay. Whatever. I’ll fashion it into a necklace. But the one on my left hand? Na-uh. Can’t break that one.

But I keep hearing it hit the steering wheel. My desk at work. My keyboard at work. The LITERAL wall. I’m seriously surprised I haven’t nicked it yet. Ladies—how do you get around this? Or am I just going to get used to the extra weight? It’s not like I’m rocking the Hope Diamond over here, so I’m sure I’ll adjust…I’m just worried about my Italian gestures in the meantime. 😊

Let’s see…what else…

Oh! I’ve finally watched You, that Netflix show everyone is talking about and I must say: I’m interested. It’s kind of weird, and you’re not really sure what you’re feeling most of the time, but it’s not too bad. I’d check it out. We also rented Split recently (James McAvoy, multiple personality movie) and it also did not disappoint. I mainly watched it in preparation for Mr. Glass, which is hopefully our next cinematic adventure. *cough, Batman, cough*

So that’s my life: trying not to destroy Batman’s gesture that I’ve waited almost a decade for…and watching things with weird ass men who murder and like to fuck with women.

*love is in the air*

P.S. What’s going on with you? How is 2019 treating you so far?

 

 

Batman Bent the Knee and Swore Fealty

To all my stalkers—you had your chance. You can continue to stalk from afar, but just know it’s never going to happen between us. I’m sorry. Please understand that. I’m engaged, you see.

To fucking Batman.

😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

YES, it’s happening. YES, this is NOT a drill. The ring has been given. It has also been accepted. Calls to parents and friends have commenced and most importantly, per Rule # 1 of this household: there are no take-backsies.

Sorry we have no cutesy pictures of us kissing and smiling. We’re not really that kind of couple. Like, we kiss and smile, but no one’s got a phone around to capture those kind of moments. Half the time I don’t even know where my phone is (which is why I never text people back right away. Sorry ☹) and when I do have it, I forget because I’m constantly distracted. This time, it was by something shiny 😊

There IS a proposal story, but it’s long and emotional and kind of private. I know that’s a cop-out answer, but it’s the only one I have. But, if I’m to leave you with anything, just know this:

Batman bent the knee and swore fealty.

MUAHAHAHA – I win!

Well, I’m off to go scour the theKnot and WeddingWire because I’ve been planning this thing for five years. Let’s see what I can officially bookmark.

How was your weekend? Any life-alerting events occur?

P.S. I’M ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First Come the Cardholders

I know I said I wouldn’t talk (much) about writing here, but I have to show you:

LOOK.

Look at these AMAZING card holders I found at work. 😊 😊 😊

I was grabbing a bottle of water from the break-room and there they were, just sitting there all alone on the counter, abandoned. I checked to make sure they didn’t belong to anybody (even let them sit for a couple hours) but when they were still there at the end of the day, I figured it was safe to call it – and I don’t feel bad AT ALL. These two beauties have inspired me to:

  • Get going on my branding, because I want some sweet-ass cards to fill them
  • Visualize my table when I finally attend a book expo as an author (gotta put my cards somewhere, right?)
  • Realize I might need two different card-holders for a reason (details coming soon!)

So there. That’s it. This post was mostly about me getting a bottle of water from the break-room and then stealing stuff I found nearby. It just happened to be cool, amazing, super-inspiring, career-developing stuff. That I found next to a refrigerator. This is my life.

There are other, more exciting things that are happening, but I’m not at liberty to discuss. Actually, I can—I just don’t want to. Not now. Right now is the time for celebrating people who leave unwanted goods for lower totem-pole employees to grab and keep. And to use for inspiration to one day book a table at an author/writer/book convention/expo.

You know what they say: first come the cardholders. Then come the fans.

P.S. Shut up. They say this. And if they don’t, they will 😉

P.P.S. If you read AW and want the scoop on how the first draft of RTD is going, check out my Patreon page where I post snippets of my progress. That’s right, baby. Sneak Peeks of first draft crap. How are you not already there reading it?

Handsome Rob and Life Things

As you may or may not know, Appa (our German Shorthaired Pointer) is a trained hunting dog (Meh. Kinda. He mostly retrieves balls and cookies). But what is he trained to hunt? Quail, mostly. I’d prefer it if he could go after something cool like the jabberwocky or Bigfoot, but no. Batman takes him quail hunting and that’s it. With that said, look who showed up next door:

Gobble, Gobble, Motherfucker. (<– shout out to Jenny Lawson of thebloggess, author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened & Furiously Happy. I love you.)

Mind you, he didn’t just show up.  He was purchased for Thanksgiving (neighbor’s admittance) but his kids had a Charlotte’s Web moment, and Handsome Rob was sparred and kept as a pet because he’s some turkey 😊 (<–see what I did there.)

Yes, his name is Handsome Rob, and yes, I named him. Sorta. He’s been around a while, but I’ve been forgetting to mention him because my life does not revolve around neighborhood turkeys (sadly). But: I’m trying to talk more about my everyday life here because I want people to turn to my Patreon and Newsletter (YES. Attempt two coming this spring/summer!) for all things writery, and I want this blog to be a place for people/fans/stalkers to come see what I do when I’m not in the writing cave. Because I do leave it from time to time 😊

On the current 2019 (non-writing) agenda we have:

A trip to Savannah!

A trip to Disney!

A trip to Colorado Springs!

An exciting garage sale!

Why Savannah? Weekend trip with mom and sis. 😊 Why Disney? Batman’s birthday.  😊  Why Colorado Springs? Batman’s pick on the city  😊 (I picked San Fran two years ago) Why the garage sale? We have a ton of shit. I’m living the life, guys. I’m living the life.

Oh, and in a couple of weeks, we’re seeing Sinbad. SINBAD, guys.

Okay, Batman and I are kids of the 90’s, so we grow up watching First Kid, which means this is a BIG DEAL. It’s going to be awesome and fun and I will probably drink one too many overpriced cocktails and be in my happy place. I love my happy place.

How are you? Any Thanksgiving survivors pop over in your neighbor’s yard? What’s next on your life agenda?