I’m kinda insecure this month.
And yeah, I’m also releasing my last book (as in a series. Not my last book ever. Let’s not get ridiculous), so that’s probably got something to do with it. But I’m not even scared of the release. I’ve announced it to practically no one and have maybe two or three people who are actually expecting/awaiting it, so it’s not like I expect any tidal wave of anything really. It’s just going to be another Friday and even more exciting—it’s the release of Crimes of Grindelwald 😊
So, I’m not nervous about chucking this story into the great internet void. I’m nervous about the whole thing. Insecure about the whole thing. I’ve been a Debbie Downer about myself lately, about my talent and progress. I told my sister (I ACTUALLY SAID THIS ALOUD) that I wasn’t certain I’d ever get anywhere with writing. It sounded horrible as I said it—especially because you can’t ever lose hope—but this very giant, logical part of my brain has been scoffing lately, saying, ‘Really, Caitlin? Still holding onto it? Still haven’t seen the signs?’ She’s a bitch, but after she makes her argument over and over, it’s hard not to take a serious listen.
I don’t know. I feel like my faith is dwindling, even though I’m doing better now than I ever have (which is saying something). Maybe it has to do with the season or full moon or because Mercury is in retrograde or whatever. Maybe it’s just a down season because everyone gets down from time to time—and doesn’t it normally circulate more around the holidays? Maybe that’s what this is. Pre-holidays blues. I hope so. I don’t want it to be the other thing. I don’t want the Grow-Up-All-Your-Dreams-Are-Dead-Sorrows. Those are a bitch.
Anyway, those are my insecurities this month! What about you?
Insecure Writer’s Support Group (IWSG) is a monthly blog hop for writers at all levels to share their fears and insecurities in a safe and encouraging place. Please drop by and say hi to Alex Cavanaugh who started this nifty concept in bringing us all together.
8 thoughts on “I’m Nervous About The Whole Thing, IWSG”
Hang in there CG, your faith is not dwindling, I believe your faith is being tested. The victory is coming is my encouragement to you! Blessings!!
We all go through moments — or weeks — of thinking and feeling strongly that we have no talent, have not business asking people for money in exchange for our writing, and that we should just do the world a favour and stop daydreaming and saying it’s work.
But it does pass. Maybe it’s a good review or someone telling you that they liked something you wrote — even a blog post. Or maybe it’s another voice in your head beating the hell out of the negative one 😉
Hang in there. You know your writing is good. A part of you believes in your talent. Chocolate helps 🙂
Ronel visiting on IWSG day: Lessons in Writing from Sewing
This too shall pass.
We all have ups and downs. The week before a big release is the PERFECT time to doubt yourself, because there’s so much anxiety and uncertainty built-in. But you know what? You’ve finished not one but TWO series. You have great reviews and ratings. You are LIGHT YEARS ahead of what so many authors dream about achieving.
You say you’re down on yourself, but where exactly do you want to be right now? What exactly do you think you’re missing? Do you want more reviews? More money? More recognition? To write the next/book series? All of those things are achievable, they just need a specific goal and plan to get there. Set that and work toward it…
…AFTER November 16th. In the meantime, enjoy your release, feel proud of your accomplishment, and do something nice for yourself. Celebrate. Go watch that terrible not-Harry Potter movie.
Congratulations on you new book! It’s a big accomplishment. Keep faith in yourself and your talent. If you like what you do, you will find satisfaction and rewards. I often wonder why I spend so much time at something with so many ups and downs. In the end, I’m glad I do.
If I could physically give you a hug, I would. You’re a fantastic writer. We just need to figure out how to get you more publicity. Contest maybe? Something like the SPFBO?
I’ve had so many of these periods. You’re going to be okay. It may not happen today, but one of these days soon, you’re going to wake up and remember how talented you are. 🙂 http://www.raimeygallant.com
I used to feel that way about my writing everytime I saw how successful my peers were. I do confess that it creeps up but I tell myself that I’m doing this because I LOVE it. I’ve heard time and time again that if you reach out to even a single reader you’re successful.
Think of a really good teacher who teaches because they love teaching and isn’t in it for the money. Same principle.
Find the root of discouragement and zap it dead and tell yourself that you’re doing it for YOU!
Thank you so much for this. I needed it.