Something occurred to me recently—yesterday?—or maybe it’s been the culmination of several deep thoughts over the years that were distracted by chocolate or coffee or maybe just life in general. The thing that occurred to me is that NO ONE ELSE IS GOING TO DO THIS FOR ME.
There. I said it. Or yelled it. But at myself. Definitely not at you. (Most definitely NOT at you x 1000)
NO ONE ELSE IS GOING TO DO THIS FOR ME.
Ah, feels even better saying/yelling for the second time.
It should be obvious. It’s *super* obvious but I kind of figured just writing would be enough and that my part—the main part—only needed to remain there. The writing-of-books-part. I figured I’d write them, throw them into cyberspace and wait for the fangirling (or fanboying—I don’t judge) to commence, which would inevitably be followed by a major publishing contract with a big fat check. Easy-peasy, right? Except—oh yeah—that hasn’t happened. Because that’s not how things work. Because you can’t do only some of the work (drats!) and I’ve been doing… eh… maybe a third? (Mind you I did work fulltime and I have Appa, who is *basically* my child). But I don’t advertise my words at all. I literally write them, feel good about them and then chuck them so hard into cyberspace I hope I forget about the next part:
I hate talking myself up. I hate compliments because, like, what do you say to them? You have a nice a hat? I don’t know. Getting other people excited about something I’m doing or have done or made or wrote seems like I’m bragging and I *hate* people who brag. It’s like yeah, we get it, you’re kind of good at something, but so is everyone. That’s why I shy away from promotion. I don’t want the spotlight. I don’t want to be passed the mic. I will hot-potato that shit so quick, someone’s going to get a spud in their eye.
But I can’t keep doing that.
Past all the doubt and weird attention disorders, I am really proud of what I did. What I wrote. What I keep on writing and if I want it to be something in this field, no one else is going to believe it until I do. They’re not going to get interested unless I’m telling them why. I get it now. I probably should’ve gotten it a while ago but we all learn at different rates (shut up).
Moral of the story?
It sucks to wake up and realize you’re the only one who can change things.
…But it’s kind of liberating too.
7 thoughts on “So, What Did We Learn Today?”
Good for you! You are a fantastic writer. You deserve to be proud about your stories.
The word that makes every writer cringe. Where does the Marketing Fairy reside? The most elusive fairy out there. Go for it!
I’m going to find that fairy. Clap my hands if I have to. 😉
“…Getting other people excited about something I’m doing or have done or made or wrote seems like I’m bragging and I *hate* people who brag. It’s like yeah, we get it, you’re kind of good at something, but so is everyone. ..”
OMG! YES!!! I have the same problem! You can not solve it, but soften it some by getting a PA to do some of your marketing for you. Some will work for the experience, or from what I’ve heard fairly cheap. I dunno. I don’t have any kind of budget, so I don’t have one. I had a lady who was doing ti for experience (she planned to later sell her services and use me as a reference) but sadly her health got in the way after a couple of weeks. I had a hard time though, even during those weeks, because I was so used to doing it myself it seemed weird.
I’m like you: no budget. It’s all me and I am seriously not tech-savvy, which makes it extra aggravating. But I’m trying to look at it as a creative challenge? Maybe? Otherwise, I’m going to scare myself into not even trying.
That’s how I look at it, which is why I’ve dropped off doing the stuff I hate. Find a few avenues you don’t mind or even kind of enjoy and go from there.