Repeat After Me: I Got This

Well, I did it.

I finished the first draft of my third book. It took me a month. Mind you, I’ve been unemployed for nearly two weeks of it, but it’s done. It needs, like, *ridiculous* amounts of revisions but I know what’s going to happen now, which is better than only having the snippets of scenes in my head before. There’s an actual story line with conflicts and events and there’s an ending, guys. I have A LAST BOOK ENDING. It’s not very good, but it’s there. Ready to be tweaked and worked on all that stuff.

So… what to do now? This is the part that sucks—the in between part. The part where I have nothing specific to work on because the next sentence, scene and chapter has already been written. I don’t know if any other writers out there have this WTF do I do now? moment but it’s here for me and it sucks.

I’m still not sure when I’m going to release this first book, Better Than This. I’m thinking maybe… mid-May? June? I still need to have it professionally edited, along with getting a cover completed and some sort of advertisement/marketing plan needs to be in place.  THINGS. There are so many things needing to be done and that next step is all blurry and weird and not specific.

Anyone heard of Patreon? It’s this cool (kind of old) idea where people will become a patron of your work either on a monthly or creation basis. It’s a tiered structure where someone can pay a certain amount ($1/$5/$10/whatever) to support your work in exchange for different things like early access to new content, deleted or behind the scenes and such. It’s kind of an awesome idea. I keep peeking at it and wondering if/when/how I should join and what I would do. I also keep wondering how to work this angle while also marketing BTT in time for this questionable release. Again, THINGS. SO MANY THINGS.

Authors (and really anyone who has an opinion/suggestion) what is my next step here? Am I jumping off in the marketing quicksand or do I have to get the book edited first? And what about the cover? And what about blog tours and hard copies? And what about—

NOPE. Not going crazy like usual. I got this. I have to keep telling myself I got this or I won’t have this. I’ll have a headache and a drinking problem and neither of those are sexy. To me. (But, you know, to each their own.) I’m also job-hunting, so throw that on the pile along with whoever grabbed a hold of my email address and started applying for credit cards under my name. And the car is in the shop. And the IRS sent me a letter. SO MANY THINGS.

But it’s cool 😊 Life’s good. Just have to repeat my mantra:

I got this.

I got this.

I MOTHERFUCKING GOT THIS BITCH.

😉

P.S. This week’s theme is “Last Line” for Friday’s #Fridaykiss. I have no idea what I’ll be posting but I’ll figure it out. Know why? See above.

I Overdosed On Kiss Me

Yesterday, I listened to Ed Sheeran’s “Kiss Me” like, seven times. Might’ve been more (it was probably more) because I’m trying to get into the mindset to write the ending ‘aww scene’ that makes everything come together in the best—and most romantic—way possible. And it’s not just the ‘aww scene’ for this one book. Nope. This scene has to encapsulate all the ‘aww scenes’ for the ENTIRE series to make it the BIGGEST AWW SCENE EVER.

Hence “Kiss Me” on repeat.

Does this work for anybody? Playing a song over and over because it gives you the right mindset to write the things you want? I didn’t think I’d have trouble writing this part (although I am a Panster and up until Wednesday I didn’t *quite* know how it was going to end) but I had a bunch of snippets to go off of and I just needed that inspiration. I don’t know if it’s because it’s the final/climatic scene of ALL the books or the fact that this is the first time I’ve written a last book, but geez. The pressure has been ON.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m still totally psyched to write this. I just didn’t think I’d be listening to one song on repeat to the point that I know every word, every pause, every time his voice gets all high and emotional. But I did. I overdosed on “Kiss Me” and it seems to be working because the scene is finally coming together. And it’s magical 😊

Side-note: Batman is NOT a fan of Mr. Sheeran since we hear “Perfect” EVERY TIME WE GET IN THE TARDIS (Tardis = Batman’s name for the car) so thank God I’m unemployed and he works because he would’ve been over it by the second—maybe third—repeat. And I wouldn’t have cared 😉

Fake It Till You Make It

I’ve been writing a bunch lately which is great because I’ve had the free time. I recently (voluntarily) switched from one job to no job, so while scouting new work I’ve had PLENTY of time to really dive into this third book I have no business writing (although a lot of you gave me feedback about how this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. You’re awesome). Yes, that means I quit to write and one day, maybe I’ll stop this habit of bouncing from job to job since filling out an application for an author isn’t a thing yet (or is it? If it is, PLEASE tell me NOW).

No, I have no idea what I’m going to do and no, I’m not concerned over it because I’m so frigging excited to be writing the third installment. I have every day to write and write some more and write even more and I bet this is how authors who talk at panels and go on book tours feel. Coffee in hand and laptop in front of them all day. Got to fake it till you make it, right?

I’m still trying to figure out how to ‘own’ this business. Obviously, I’m down for the creative part but the business/marketing aspect is still a big blinking question mark that I keep trying to peek past. I’ve been a bit more active on twitter and am trying to blog more than once a week. But I’m not sure what to say. Or post. Or how to stir up interest other than just continually talking about me and writing and my books. Or is that it? Is that the whole secret?

Grrr.

I’m going to play with Appa while I figure this out.

Then I’ll probably come back and write some more. Today kind of is a big day. It’s a big scene, one that solves a mystery from the second book. I’ve already teared up a couple times because I like throwing rocks at my characters and this rock really hurt. Is it weird (and you can tell me if this makes me a terrible person) but my goal is to make my reader cry. I just want to break their heart a little and then put it back together. Evil or… not such a terrible thing? You tell me.

P.S. Don’t forget…if you hear about that author application thing… let me know.

P.P.S. The theme is “Anticipation” for this Friday’s #FridayKiss, so look for some of my “sweetest and sexiest lines” from my WIP on Twitter in two days (you know, because I’m on Twitter now) 😉

Things I Do Because Life

Today I went to a torture museum.

Not exactly what I thought when I mentioned St. Augustine, but hey—who am I to turn down a good nightmare-inducing experience? I was thinking more Ice-cream and cobble-stones but I got graphic mannequins and the Iron Maiden.

*shudders inwardly*

When Batman suggested this new tour (we’ve practically done everything else in the oldest city) I thought—sure, why not? I’ve been living happily and at peace. Time to shake things up a bit. So, I did. I went into this 4,000 sq. ft. stage play featuring the most terrifying ways to punish people. I took some pictures but then the bile started to rise and I figured they probably didn’t want me vomiting all over their perfectly-crafted gore scenes.

Sure, why not? We already paid the fee.

…wtf?

NOPE!

Batman seems to be having fun.

If you’ve never been to St. Augustine (and you should—it’s gorgeous) this is more of what to expect:

Unlike last week, I have nothing profound to say. I just want it noted I went into a really scary place and didn’t pass out. Or run out. I stayed there and closed my eyes a bunch like a CHAMP.

Also, I’m a little more than half-way through the third book and I’m already all squealy over it. (Squealy is a good thing. I’m fangirling over my own work which is either super self-absorbed or I’m just super excited for the content. I’m leaning towards the latter.)

Hope you’re enjoying whatever this Saturday is throwing your way – be it family, friends, or the Iron-Maiden!

P.S. – I joined this nifty group on FB called All the Kissing and I’m digging it. Friday’s theme was Love so if you head over to Twitter (Yep – I know. I’ve been tweeting recently. It surprises me too) you can check out some of the sweet and sexy lines from my WIP, Better Than This with #FridayKiss. Actually, you’ll find a *bunch* of awesome lines from seriously hot sounding stories.  But what else would you expect from a group called All the Kissing?

So, What Did We Learn Today?

Something occurred to me recently—yesterday?—or maybe it’s been the culmination of several deep thoughts over the years that were distracted by chocolate or coffee or maybe just life in general. The thing that occurred to me is that NO ONE ELSE IS GOING TO DO THIS FOR ME.

There. I said it. Or yelled it. But at myself. Definitely not at you. (Most definitely NOT at you x 1000)

NO ONE ELSE IS GOING TO DO THIS FOR ME.

Ah, feels even better saying/yelling for the second time.

It should be obvious. It’s *super* obvious but I kind of figured just writing would be enough and that my part—the main part—only needed to remain there. The writing-of-books-part. I figured I’d write them, throw them into cyberspace and wait for the fangirling (or fanboying—I don’t judge) to commence, which would inevitably be followed by a major publishing contract with a big fat check. Easy-peasy, right? Except—oh yeah—that hasn’t happened. Because that’s not how things work. Because you can’t do only some of the work (drats!) and I’ve been doing… eh… maybe a third? (Mind you I did work fulltime and I have Appa, who is *basically* my child). But I don’t advertise my words at all. I literally write them, feel good about them and then chuck them so hard into cyberspace I hope I forget about the next part:

Marketing.

I hate talking myself up. I hate compliments because, like, what do you say to them? You have a nice a hat? I don’t know. Getting other people excited about something I’m doing or have done or made or wrote seems like I’m bragging and I *hate* people who brag. It’s like yeah, we get it, you’re kind of good at something, but so is everyone. That’s why I shy away from promotion. I don’t want the spotlight. I don’t want to be passed the mic. I will hot-potato that shit so quick, someone’s going to get a spud in their eye.

But I can’t keep doing that.

Past all the doubt and weird attention disorders, I am really proud of what I did. What I wrote. What I keep on writing and if I want it to be something in this field, no one else is going to believe it until I do. They’re not going to get interested unless I’m telling them why. I get it now. I probably should’ve gotten it a while ago but we all learn at different rates (shut up).

Moral of the story?

It sucks to wake up and realize you’re the only one who can change things.

…But it’s kind of liberating too.

What Am I Doing, IWSG?

I started writing the third book.

Recap: I haven’t published the first one yet. Better Than This, the first book in my series (no name for the series yet—that’s how early I am in the process) is out to BETA readers for them to give me a thumbs-up *hopefully* or a thumbs sideways with suggestions. Either way, the MS is out to like, three people, one of whom I know has read it. That’s it. So, what the hell am I doing writing the third one?

It started with me (kind of) cleaning the house and imagining—like I sometimes do—this very special, very oh-my-God moment in the third installment. I play it over in my head because it’s just so powerful and goose-bumpy that I decided to go ahead and write it. Just to get it down. Then that turned into what led up to it and what happened after and I’m already thirty pages in. And I am NOT STOPPING.

Which is great, I know. Woo-hoo and all that, but I’m already writing the third one. The THIRD ONE. I was in the middle of editing the second when this magical bout of inspiration knocked me over the head with the final story for the series. So: I’m writing the third now in the middle of editing the second while I should be promoting and releasing my first.

*Pulls hair*

But I got this. I don’t know how, but I got this. Somehow, it’ll all come together. With that said, onto the February optional question!

What do you love about the genre you write in most often?

Probably the fact that I read all kinds of romances and romances (typically) end in a Happily Ever After (HEA). I like that. Sometimes the world is so filled with shitiness that it’s nice to read a story that makes you feel good. Like, really good. Friendships are great for that, but I always find romances to hit that special spot. Or, maybe I’m still a little girl and believe in HEAs? I mean, I did find Batman. So, why doubt it?

Insecure Writer’s Support Group (IWSG) is a monthly blog hop for writers at all levels to share their fears and insecurities in a safe and encouraging place. Please drop by and say hi to Alex Cavanaugh who started this nifty concept in bringing us all together.