I’ve not been great lately.
Which is the reason for my blog-absence and maybe why I haven’t written you back or commented on your post or reached out and sent a text (not that I do very often, but usually I don’t like gaps going this long between us. Sorry, guys). There’s just been stuff in my head. And stuff outside my head, like screaming and a lot of crying and a phone being destroyed. Oh, and someone stole $300 dollars from me. Electronically, so the bank has refunded me… pending further investigation upon my whereabouts the other week. There’s also been thoughts. Sad scary thoughts that make me even sadder (and sometimes more afraid) but I’ve been pushing through them with Batman’s help and the Universe/God sending me clues that it’s going to be okay. And it will be. But sometimes it feels like it won’t be and my shoulders get really tight and I feel like they’re going to break even when I tell myself they’re shatter-proof.
But I’ve been writing every day and working on Morty & Co.—a pictorial culmination of what almost a decade in an office can (and has) done to a person. Some days I look at it and think it’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever created and others I’m working on it for hours. Artist mentality at its finest.
I’m going to be bold and opt not to answer the monthly question. It’s a good one, but I feel like I’d be battering myself because I don’t take advantage of the free help and writing about that could spin me into a downward spiral of reasons why I’m going to fail and I’ve just now peeked over the pit I’ve fallen into. So, I’m going to look up—or straight ahead—instead of down and take a pass on this one.
Insecure Writer’s Support Group (IWSG) is a monthly blog hop for writers at all levels to share their fears and insecurities in a safe and encouraging place. Please drop by and say hi to Alex Cavanaugh who started this nifty concept in bringing us all together.
Life is a big series of ups and downs, sometimes more downs than anything, it seems.
But you’re already finding the high points, which is great! The bank is giving you back your money! You’re progressing on your project! (which sounds pretty cool) I know when I’m depressed the first thing I lose is my productivity, which makes me even more depressed… You’re recognizing the problems and making adjustments to deal with it! You know how many people CAN’T do that?
You have the right frame of mind. Keep going, keep looking forward. This too shall pass.
IWSG April
Thanks, CD. I needed that.
Sending you positive vibes and good energy and if you need to vent sometime hit me up. I don’t know if you’re down about writing or other things, but let me just tell you that you are amazing, so don’t let anyone tell you any different!
Thanks, Joleene 🙂
Hi, CGC! It sounds like you’ve been through a really tough time. I’ve hit a few rough patches, even been suicidal in the past. But one step at a time you get through these difficult periods. Looking straight ahead is a great idea, step by step. Kudos to you for managing to keep the writing work going. May things look a whole lot brighter in the coming weeks and months!
I feel ya. Life just likes to knock us over the head, doesn’t it? I certainly do hope April is better for the both of us. And I’m also very glad you’re still writing, and very glad you got your money back.
Seems like March was such a rough month for so many people. >_< But I am glad that you're pushing through all this, and I hope things will get better soon.
I’m just now struggling out of a big low, so my posts have been insanely inconsistent, and my blog visits even more so. I hope you find your way through the rough times soon, but yay for writing every day!