Everything I write is crap.
That’s my insecurity this month. I don’t know if a plug came loose or it was that nerve-wracking critique group I went to, or if it’s the man in the moon (what my sister calls him) wreaking havoc this past week, but I’ve lost that… oomph. That hell yeah I can conquer this bitch mentality because right now, I feel like an ill-equipped hobbit throwing down with Gandalf the White. And I’m not even a Baggins.
I don’t know what happened. I was full speed ahead the past few months and now I’m chewing on my fingernails while my brain and heart fight over which will implode first. Hopefully this is a wave of panic that can be easily suppressed with sufficient wine and chocolate, which is why I have stocked up on both. We all go through it—in all walks of life– and I guess my turn to fear and doubt and basically freak out is up. But instead of focusing on the fact this even this blog blows sufficient donkey dick, I’m going to list some of the awesome things that have happened recently:
- Check Engine light came on—car has not broken down yet.
- Flipped channels and found The Notebook—tuned in right at the rain scene. Ladies, you know what I’m talking about.
- Attended 1920’s mystery party—found entire outfit in Goodwill/Betty Griffin House DAY OF and received several compliments. (**Did not solve mystery. Busy cashing in on successful bootlegging achievement)
- Walked through hurricane-like thunderstorm—did not fall once or get blown over.
- Saw scary ass looking spider on the floor—was already super dead.
(You’ve got to find the miracle in everything.) Hopefully this blah-punch-me-in-the-face feeling will pass and I’ll be back on board the optimism train. What about you? How are you feeling this month?
And if, somehow, you stumbled upon this blog at random (you lucky bastard) the first Wednesday of every month is IWSG which is a time and virtual place for writers of all stages to share their doubts and fears and to offer encouragement to those who might need it. If you’re feeling similarly frightened or exceptionally inspired (or just nosey) I highly suggest you check it out. IWSG is a monthly blog hop started by Alex Cavanaugh.