I love TUT.
Every morning before I swing my legs out of bed, before Batman beats me to the bathroom (and probably because of it) I read my TUT. And it is strangely amazing how accurate it reflects thoughts in my life, especially recent ones.
I’m going to NY two weeks from today (TWO WEEKS PEOPLE) to a conference where I can hopefully learn how to market myself and – here’s the fun part – pitch the book that I only really started writing in April, to real, live agents who could *possibly* take me on as a new client. Probable? Eh, not really. But possible?
…Anything is possible.
I’m down to crumbs in my account, I don’t have a new job yet and sometimes I feel like everything is riding on how well I, someone who’s known to blank in sorta important situations, can deliver a good pitch. I’m standing on the cliff, and I know – I KNOW – there are sharp as shit, slice-ya-up rocks at the bottom, but I’m tired of looking at them. So they’re down there. So what? Sometimes you’ve got to take a leap of faith. I mean, hell, Mr. Jones had to do it on his journey to the fountain of youth. Member? You member, the whole ‘leap of faith.’
God, I love Indian Jones.
*wipes drool and clears throat*
But for realzies, I’m off my rocker. I get it. I’m not doing anything that makes sense. Like… pitching a book that I only STARTED in April? (in my defense, I’ve had about 3/12 months to work on it WITHOUT the obligation of a full time job. You should still probably be scoffing now). But aren’t all great achievements the ones that made no sense at all? Or little sense? Or little logic? I’m not saying I’ll get picked up at this conference, but I’m taking a chance. A leap of faith for the possibility of something better. And I owe it to myself.
So there’s this really cool quote that I try to live by:
“Death whispers in my ear and says… live, for I am coming.”
Sometimes I like to pretend I’m already dead (creepy, right? Just go with it). What would I tell my living self? Knowing the end game is the same: you’re given a certain amount of time, and that’s it. Would I still live with caution? Or would I actually… live?
What about you?
How would you have lived your life if you were already dead? The same?
Or would you do it all differently?