So I get really confused and super panicky when I feel obligated.

It’s part of the reason I don’t do more.

Because shit sounds cool and then I realize I’m involved in living my life, so some part of me will have to actually interact which takes time away from writing, and that’s all my life ever seems to be – pieces and blocks of time away from writing. That sounded super writer-emo, didn’t it? I didn’t mean it to be. It’s just the truth.

Back when I was brave (and possibly drinking) I signed up to be the author of the month in the Smashwords group on Goodreads. Follow any of that? No? Here’s a link. It’s basically a month dedicated to being in the spotlight where people ask you questions about your work and process and pretty much everything that gives me panic attacks. And I forgot that I signed up. For June. But that’s okay because I’m trying to embrace my inner dragon, call on my ‘inner Khaleesi’ if you will.

See, I’m a Dragon-Chicken, which basically means my life consists of two trains of thought:

Yeah I’m fire-breathing motherfucker.

Please don’t look at me. My heart is going to implode.

And to both extremes. Seriously.

I’ve tried narrowing down which way the podium will swing and often, if coffee or sugar are involved, I’m ready for flight. But if too many eyes are focused or I feel obligated, I shrink into my feathery fat and pray no one comes near me with an axe (You know, for cutting off my head and eating and stuff).  Being an author is tough. But when you’re trying to grow an audience, you kind of have to force the dragon, right? Be brave and do author things like group spotlights and interviews, like the kind going up on Creative Barbwire on June 19^th.

*Squawk*

I mean… Fiery Roar!

I’ll work on it.

Also, I’ve had new covers done for the Arizal War books. Take a look and tell me what you think. Courtesy of talented author and designer Joleene Naylor. 🙂

June will be a good month.

And then next it’s off to the Writers Digest annual conference next month for the real test.

Fiery lungs—don’t fail me yet.

Me.