Happy first Wednesday to writers everywhere and all you A-Z Challenge Bloggers—I wish you good luck, a whole lot of sanity and a happy month of writing 🙂
IWSG (Insecure Writers Support Group) posts the first Wednesday of every month and is a place to share your worries and doubts and fears and all those other fun elements of what it means to be a writer. Started by Ninja Captain Alex Cavanaugh, you can find more information about the group along with the blog hop list here. So go visit, make some friends and be cheered up that you’re not in this alone in this crazy lifestyle 🙂
My insecurity this month (and kind of like, my entire life) is that awesome enemy of creativity: self doubt.
Because the past week or so, one thought’s been circulating every time I open the laptop.
What the fuck am I doing?
I’ll reread a few paragraphs and squint in dismay. DISMAY at what I wrote. And then I think, uh, how long have you been writing, girl? And you came up with that? Sheesh.
We all go through it; I know we do. Doesn’t soften the blow when you reread your words and sit there contemplating if you really hated being a receptionist that much because hey, they have good health insurance and potlucks once a month. So maybe it’s better to not go for your dreams and decide to be more practical because no one’s going to want to read your shitty words anyway. Am I right, guys?
NO I AM NOT.
Fuck being a receptionist and having awesome health insurance and eating at work potlucks. I can microwave my own damn food and avoid falling into pot holes and work on what really matters, not typing up someone else’s agenda or answering phones and directing calls. Because even though my words suck today, I’ll make them better tomorrow or next week. Writing is rewriting. Faith is believing even when you’re squinting in dismay and seriously considering going for your third glass of wine because what the hell are you doing with your life.
So repeat after me:
I SHALL RISE AND CONQUER THIS BITCH.
What about you? Have you been feeling good about your work lately? Or are you struggling with motivation and faith? Tell me I’m not the only one who plays this wine-inducing questioning game on a regular basis. Please.
Oh self doubt, thou art a bitch.
Self doubt needs to be escorted outside and given a restraining order. Good thing I still have a bit of a rebel still in me so I don;t care about self doubt any more.
I need to shake her off. She’s just so damn persistent.
You know from reading my blog that I sometimes have the same issue. I love what Stephen said here. Good advice.
I think everyone encounters self doubt at some point. They must if they’re human.And probably even the robots, too.
Yep, struggling with focus, faith and loss of creativity. I’ll find it again though. Soon. I hope.
And for me, it’s not so much wine as it is chocolate (as my writer’s butt can attest to.)
Oh, don’t get me wrong: chocolate is definitely there when I make my wine run. I just feel better defending something with antioxidents.
This self doubt will weigh you down but keep looking for that focus and faith and creativity. It’s there. It’s always there.
I want this blogpost title on a T-shirt! You are not alone.
I think the ability to not see every single thing you write through delusional-colored “this is awesome!” glasses is what separates real writers from wannabes — being able to cut through your own work to make it better is a gift. And wine makes the process a whole lot more fun.
Yes, it most certainly does. It’s the cringing I fear and I seem to be cringing a lot lately. It’s just part of the oh-so-fun process 🙂
Well said. I’ve learned to keep going even when I think I’m writing crap. That’s what first drafts are for.
Ha-yes! and second drafts and third drafts. The trick is to, ahem:
“Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming…”
Wine actually helps me write, at least I think it does 😉
Yes it does. There should be no uncertainty about that. 😉
You tell her! Potlucks are overrated anyway.
They mostly end up being catered by Subway. Although my chocolate-peanut butter cookies do go quickly. But yeah! Who needs ’em?
Every day you will get better. Go out and conquer!
Conquer would be my middle name if it wasn’t Grace.
Some days are harder to get through than others. I’m glad you’re enthused to power through and keep writing. Yes, it will get better!
It usually does. It’s the remembering part that gets me. Because when I read first draft/second draft stuff, I recoil and grow embarrassed to know my work is out there – on the interwebs! But then I calm down and BREATHE. “It’s just a first draft… this will get better… you went through the same thing with the other books.” Talking myself through it helps.
Thanks for dropping by!
Oh, man–I hear you. I think all writers go through it. Just keep going–hopefully the doubt will ebb.
It will! *crosses fingers*
And that bitch should go to her room until she can behave herself.
Here’s my link if you’d like to drop by 🙂
Anna from Elements of Writing
Just dropped by 😉
I think she will stay in her room because there’s no cure. There’s only ignoring the bitch.
Heh, I just had a book release so you can guess where I’m at. Hint: I’m probably certifiable at the moment.
I haven’t read you current WIP but if the writing is anything like the others (and I’m sure it is) then it is going to be awesome! Your dialogue is great, your character development, your pacing… I could go on but then I’d sound fan-girly 😉
Aw, Joleene! *blushes*
Hey, congrats on the book release! I still have a few to go before I’m caught up on all the excitement. And I bet you are certifiable 😉 i don’t see how you wouldn’t be!
Show that bitch who’s boss! 😉
I can so relate. I’m struggling badly and I’m not happy. I’m about to roll my sleeves and handle my business too lol
That’s what you have to do. You have to get TOUGH.
Roll up those sleeves – best thing for you!
I LOVE THIS POST. Hell yes, we shall conquer this bitch.
I have days when everything I have ever written, everything I am currently working on, is the world’s worst pile of shit. I’ve learned through long experience that it’s not ACTUALLY that bad; I just seem to have self-doubt lenses on. Those days, I close my laptop, and do something to shift my brain: go for a run, meditate, read a really good book. Then I head back to the computer when the lenses have cleared.
It’s true… it’s those damn self-doubt lenses. But you’re spot on. I find that on days when I’m like “why even bother” it’s best to NOT write and do something else. Clears the mind a little 🙂
You and Batman could always go into business together as snake wranglers. 🙂 No potlucks (although those snakes DO have to go somewhere….). No awesome insurance (this is probably a bad idea if you’re snake wrangling). BUT THEN you’ll have awesome stories to tell —> creative writing juices flow like a fountain = published author! Win win!
Lol!
V – you are hysterical. Although, I didn’t do much to wrangle the snake. It was more screaming and pointing while Batman took care of business. But yes, definitely good fodder for stories! 🙂
😀
I’m with you on this, completely. Things have been going well for me lately, but the cynic in me knows that’ll turn around sometime down the road. Odds are good I’ll need to come back to this entry (and several others I’ve bookmarked with similar messages) to remind myself that it’s all worth it and that what I think sucks now might actually be good when I look at it tomorrow.
And if the fact that I have several anti-self-doubt blog entries bookmarked doesn’t show that we all go through this, nothing will. Eh heh heh…
Exactly. You’re not alone, dude,
Just shut your cynic up. Or pay him no attention. Or go out, get drunk together and leave him at the bar and start anew the next morning.
I doubt myself all the time. 🙂 But having read your work, I have to say, I think you’re doing pretty darn well with your writing. Rise and conquer because you are worthy!