Three Glasses of Wine Kept Me Talking

How about I walked into the bedroom and had a whole conversation with a bunch of pillows disguised as a body. Extremely eager to share what Samantha did on Sex and the City, I was confused why Batman wasn’t instantly responding, but the three glasses of wine kept me talking. So angered over the fact that Samantha would cheat on Smith with Richard (who’s an asshole!), I didn’t understand why Batman wouldn’t comment. He wouldn’t even move. Slowly, I pulled back the purple comforter and found a mash of our pillows together and gasped aloud.

He was in the closet laughing.

Crack Town Puppies

I have the most bizarre dreams. Ask my mother; she’ll tell you.

I’m going to attempt to describe last night’s crazy adventure which I’m still processing, even now, as I sip my morning coffee and try to piece it all back together:

It started off with a move… or an eviction from our currently awesome complex. Sure, I’d like to upgrade to a larger, roomier place but preferably when Batman and I have another dwelling picked out. Somehow (and I stress somehow, since we’ve pretty much filled our entire one bedroom apartment) we managed to fit all our belongings into ONE car and started driving… somewhere. I can’t be sure, but I believe we ended up at a motel as the going rate was $60 a month. Not bad, but it wasn’t home. Still we unpacked, made it homey-ish when Batman told me he had a surprise for me. Getting back in the newly unpacked car, he took us around the town which was yes, not your ideal neighborhood.

We arrived to this barren lot with a small, dirty, shed-like building in the back with a handwritten sign that read PUPPIES. Yes. We were looking at crack town puppies. Hesitant, I still followed Batman into the nasty dwelling to find eight to ten crates of severely neglected pups and one who might’ve been cute if not for the folds of fabric fur falling off its sides. I believe it was a cocker spaniel and when I asked how much, the man (who, by the way, looked very similar to the grungy character in the video game Batman was playing last night) told me $1.00. I’m not certain what happened after that, except we weren’t at the crack town puppy store anymore and I was very much relieved.

Then, somehow, we were transported to our new place where a bunch of friends were already partying. But suddenly they were leaving, heading home and I grew super sad at being alone again in my new motel home. And then Red, one of my best friends from high school (which was Batman’s *amazing* surprise for my birthday last weekend),said he’d be right back and I went off following him through a parade/smoke protest until I lost him in the crowd. I turned back and headed to the new apartment where I couldn’t reach the vodka because it was on the top shelf (?) It was night time and then morning in a second and I made a cup of coffee which turned into a cake. After picking off a piece of the crust when no one was looking (like normal), it exploded, and splattered my mother’s apron with tiny brown dots that looked like a constellation and matched her freckles.

And then I woke up.

For those of you looking to diagnose, here’s your chance.